Here I am, again, sitting here in an attempt to relay a harrowing tale of my immense success and I've got nothing. This happens on occasion. It's usually a result of hunger, fatigue, or "I had a long day and I'd rather be playing video games or reading comic books." More often then not it's a combination of all three, and today is no exception. The only difference is that usually I post BS like this on LiveJournal where that sort of textureless monologing with no depth to speak of belongs (and I usually spell out bullshit.)
Last week my colorful associates and I met up at the legendary WSU Vancouver and recorded episode one of the soon to be legendary Astonishing Dude. I can't praise them enough. I'm trying though. I'm in the process of editing, and when I hear their lines I rush out of the room and onto FaceBook (I could call them, but then they'd have to get off the computer to answer the phone.) so that I may praise them. After the first two I decided I was making little progress as it was and kept working. I'll be sure to maul them later and suffocate them with praise.
Recording went smoothly. I seem to have given my actors all of the difficult to pronounce words and left all the easy ones to myself. (I'm curious to know how many directors have uttered the phrase, "Let's take it from molecular carbonation.") I was actually surprised at the lack of swearing when it came to line flubs. (I managed to take second place with only "damnit" and "son of a bitch." Actually, maybe I tied for first. The only other person who came close had three damnits. I'm not done editing yet, so maybe there're more lurking about. It could be anyone's game.)
The best part was that the super wonderful station manager, the cunning minx that she is, invited us to see the radio station. She did the exact same thing the last time I was there. First it's "Hey, do you wanna see the station?" and once we're there she slaps some headphones on us, throws us in front of the mics and runs away laughing gleefully over the horison. She's like a person selling kittens.
"Hey, would you like a kitten?"
"No thak you. I'm not interested."
"I bet you are."
"No, really, my mom's allergic. If she even sees one her windpipe swells shut and she can't breathe."
"Would you like to hold one?"
"Um... no..."
"I think one of them is trying to escape."
"What? I don't see..."
"Here, just hold this one while I go after the other."
"Uh... sure. Okay."
"There you go."
"OH MY GOD IT'S ADORABLE!"
"Hmm... seems as though I was mistaken. I could have sworn that..."
"I'LL TAKE TWO!"
"(Sucker)"
I think we may have a two hour time slot on Fridays from 2-4pm (Which can be heard at www.kougradio.com and I think maybe eventually some time soon some other site I don't remember or something. You should listen to it anyway. They play yodeling!) I haven't talked to anyone about it though... so I have no idea what we're doing. Then again, we didn't know what we were doing THEN, so what difference does it make? Maybe we'll read more horoscopes.
I've been keeping fairly busy, but I've made some time for myself. I've only spent 12 hours or so editing episode one, and I'm a bit over ten minutes into the show. Most of the time has been spent online foraging for sound effects. I'm sure once I get all the ones I need future episodes will go a lot quicker. I need to download all the sounds I can find (that work and are of reasonable quality) just to make damn sure I'll have what I need later (especially for the Rube Goldberg Home Kitchen Appliences commercial.)
There are three reasons I haven't spent more time working on this project. 1: I spent the weekend in Snoqualmie. 2: I'm handi-capable and have a rough time with mornings when I don't sleep at night due to the heat. 3: My laptop and external hard drive do not function properly at high temperatures (my laptop completely burnt out once, and today my external hard drive konked out and wouldn't turn back on until I slapped an icepack on it. It's such a diva...)
Now here I am trying to make sense of everything. I don't think I can, and I've given up trying. It seems to have worked out pretty well in my favor. I have four and a third scripts written, so we may only do five shows. This is a killer energy suck. Not that I'm complaining. I get to write and direct, hang out with my friends, and make something that will provide entertainment to dozens. This is exactly what I want. I've got a good thing going and I should follow it 'til the track runs out. Maybe it'll lead me to ways I can accomplish my other goals.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Radio Killed the Literary Star
At long last my battle with animation has come to an end, and it has been praised. It’s odd that it took me so long to complete, but this is no time to dwell on the past. Those were turbulent times, filled with tears and great strife. Now the final element linking me to that past has been vanquished and I will be able to move forward into the promising future beyond the horizon. A future in radio.
Today I began my fifth script for The Astonishing Dude and remote-recorded one of my actors before they ship overseas to Japan (She’s a robot and requires yearly maintenance. Allying myself with a robot goes against all of my better judgment and experience with science fiction movies, but she plays a mighty fine diseased pull string doll, and for that I am grateful.) Next week I will be able to record the rest of my cast as an ensemble. I expect the utmost professionalism from them. Not a single line will be flubbed, and at absolutely no point during the recording session will they break out into fits of uncontrollable laughter. I place all of my faith in their capable vocal chords.
Once the series begins my free time will become limited, assuming we’re attempting to maintain a weekly deadline. I’ll have to write one script a week, organize rehearsals, schedule recording sessions, edit and mix the show, then play it at KOUG Radio for all to enjoy. This isn’t impossible. Shows like SNL prove that. It may not be entertaining, but weekly deadlines can be met. I am a male Virgo, and quite incapable of multitasking. I can do one thing at a time, and that one thing must be perfect. The primary concerns are my poor writing habits and unifying everyone else’s schedule. With paint and canvas you can almost always guarantee that you’ll have everything you need to create your art. When your artistic medium requires people things become difficult. Paint brushes don’t have lives of their own. This isn’t a professional production. People are going to be scrambling for jobs and going to school, if not both. They may not be available on my easel when I need them. Meanwhile I will be so consumed by this production that I won’t have time for anything else. I’m fortunate that my comrades are involved in this project. Being the overlord is lonely work, but at least in this endeavor I won’t be alone. These people I am working with are more important to me than anything. They are the reason I continue to fight (I mean, yes, I am human, and as such I am inherently selfish. It would be more accurate to say that I fight for my own happiness and being able to associate with my comrades makes me happy and as such it is in my best interest to persevere through my madness so that I may spend time with them, but people reading this blog may not have the time to read through such a long winded explanation of my motivations. I have no desire to inconvenience anyone by going on and on about something that could easily be summed up in a short sentence. I dare say I’m being ironic. Imagine that.)
The other problem is that I am unable to stretch out a storyline beyond half an hour. The station manager suggested a one-hour time slot. I understand the need for nice even numbers (I'm a Virgo.) If we are given an hour to fill the best thing to do would be to see about getting cast members together at the station and talking about the process (or whatever comes up. There's really no telling sometimes.) It would be like episode commentary on DVD, but live. I for one would find that to be most enjoyable, and I'm sure my cast would love it as well. It would also be a great opportunity for my talented composer to discuss his work if he was in the area at the time of the broadcast. Another bonus for me is that if I assemble people together in a small room to talk about the show ideas may pop up that could be utilized in a future script. At present I am wholly dependent on my own imagination to provide interesting plot lines. My imagination and Netflix (Ah, I do love me some Justice League.)
For some time I have had the desire to return to the piece I was writing prior to my work on The Astonishing Dude. However, any time spent writing must, for the sake of great justice, be spent writing scripts for my radio series. I’m trying to compromise by drawing my characters (and myself. I’m not looking so good.) before I retire to my chaimbers in the evening. I am not a visual artist, and I do not claim to be a visual artist, but I will say that I’ve improved ever so slightly since the last time I attempted to draw human figures. For the sake of good taste I may have to stick to drawing machines, beasts, and plush kitties. If people begin gouging out their eyes due my atrocious sketching there will be no one left to gaze upon my handsome visage (Someone told me I had a pretty smile yesterday. They actually used the word pretty to describe my smile. I wasn’t sure whether to smite them or not, so I hired a former serial killer to decide for me. His judgment was swift.) My dream for this novel… is to write it. Actually finishing it would be a huge step, and despite how obvious it may seem to the future of the work it is something that quite escapes my mind. I would like key points of the story to be illustrated by various comic book artists. The idea is to have each character be drawn in a different art style (For example, I would be illustrated by Yoshitaka Amano. I have high aspirations.) Before I am able to have prestigious artists create work based on my story I must create something great that piques their interest in me. No matter. We will find a way.
Until then we shall continue to draw horribly disfigured people whose parents were clearly involved in substance abuse.
Today I began my fifth script for The Astonishing Dude and remote-recorded one of my actors before they ship overseas to Japan (She’s a robot and requires yearly maintenance. Allying myself with a robot goes against all of my better judgment and experience with science fiction movies, but she plays a mighty fine diseased pull string doll, and for that I am grateful.) Next week I will be able to record the rest of my cast as an ensemble. I expect the utmost professionalism from them. Not a single line will be flubbed, and at absolutely no point during the recording session will they break out into fits of uncontrollable laughter. I place all of my faith in their capable vocal chords.
Once the series begins my free time will become limited, assuming we’re attempting to maintain a weekly deadline. I’ll have to write one script a week, organize rehearsals, schedule recording sessions, edit and mix the show, then play it at KOUG Radio for all to enjoy. This isn’t impossible. Shows like SNL prove that. It may not be entertaining, but weekly deadlines can be met. I am a male Virgo, and quite incapable of multitasking. I can do one thing at a time, and that one thing must be perfect. The primary concerns are my poor writing habits and unifying everyone else’s schedule. With paint and canvas you can almost always guarantee that you’ll have everything you need to create your art. When your artistic medium requires people things become difficult. Paint brushes don’t have lives of their own. This isn’t a professional production. People are going to be scrambling for jobs and going to school, if not both. They may not be available on my easel when I need them. Meanwhile I will be so consumed by this production that I won’t have time for anything else. I’m fortunate that my comrades are involved in this project. Being the overlord is lonely work, but at least in this endeavor I won’t be alone. These people I am working with are more important to me than anything. They are the reason I continue to fight (I mean, yes, I am human, and as such I am inherently selfish. It would be more accurate to say that I fight for my own happiness and being able to associate with my comrades makes me happy and as such it is in my best interest to persevere through my madness so that I may spend time with them, but people reading this blog may not have the time to read through such a long winded explanation of my motivations. I have no desire to inconvenience anyone by going on and on about something that could easily be summed up in a short sentence. I dare say I’m being ironic. Imagine that.)
The other problem is that I am unable to stretch out a storyline beyond half an hour. The station manager suggested a one-hour time slot. I understand the need for nice even numbers (I'm a Virgo.) If we are given an hour to fill the best thing to do would be to see about getting cast members together at the station and talking about the process (or whatever comes up. There's really no telling sometimes.) It would be like episode commentary on DVD, but live. I for one would find that to be most enjoyable, and I'm sure my cast would love it as well. It would also be a great opportunity for my talented composer to discuss his work if he was in the area at the time of the broadcast. Another bonus for me is that if I assemble people together in a small room to talk about the show ideas may pop up that could be utilized in a future script. At present I am wholly dependent on my own imagination to provide interesting plot lines. My imagination and Netflix (Ah, I do love me some Justice League.)
For some time I have had the desire to return to the piece I was writing prior to my work on The Astonishing Dude. However, any time spent writing must, for the sake of great justice, be spent writing scripts for my radio series. I’m trying to compromise by drawing my characters (and myself. I’m not looking so good.) before I retire to my chaimbers in the evening. I am not a visual artist, and I do not claim to be a visual artist, but I will say that I’ve improved ever so slightly since the last time I attempted to draw human figures. For the sake of good taste I may have to stick to drawing machines, beasts, and plush kitties. If people begin gouging out their eyes due my atrocious sketching there will be no one left to gaze upon my handsome visage (Someone told me I had a pretty smile yesterday. They actually used the word pretty to describe my smile. I wasn’t sure whether to smite them or not, so I hired a former serial killer to decide for me. His judgment was swift.) My dream for this novel… is to write it. Actually finishing it would be a huge step, and despite how obvious it may seem to the future of the work it is something that quite escapes my mind. I would like key points of the story to be illustrated by various comic book artists. The idea is to have each character be drawn in a different art style (For example, I would be illustrated by Yoshitaka Amano. I have high aspirations.) Before I am able to have prestigious artists create work based on my story I must create something great that piques their interest in me. No matter. We will find a way.
Until then we shall continue to draw horribly disfigured people whose parents were clearly involved in substance abuse.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Operation: ASTONISHMENT!
I apologize for the extensive duration of time between my previous post and this one that I am now 36 vowels into (I think... each time I count the number changes. However, as I am infallible, every number I count to is the correct number of vowels that I count. How's that for logic?)
I am in the midst of a delicate operation. If THIS plan succeeds I will be one step closer to being one step closer to commencing my diabolical MASTER plan of global domination. But, before I go any further, I'll go ahead and start with the stuff people may care about (then I will ramble to my heart's content.)
Alright, so... after I learn how to properly operate my shiny new (and free) audio editing software, I will need to assemble some actors. I can record directly to my laptop, so I'll be able to record people at their convenience, and not have to arrange it so everyone has to gather together in one spot at a certain time. I've got a big long list of characters, so here are a few.
The Astonishing Dude: Stalwart defender of justice and title character.
Announcers: Need deep voiced radio announcer for episode intros and such, as well as intense energy-drink spokesperson, infomercial guy, and sweet lady varieties for commercial breaks.
Dr. Hands: Malevolent mustache-twirler and master of hand-to-hand combat. Forced to turn to crime due to the economic recession, and the need to purchase specialized ambidextrous tools.
Wrench Wench: The Astonishing Dude's sultry mechanic and on-again-off again romantic sub-plot (Although I have yet to see it set to "on".) Cursed by a gypsy to speak in innuendo (Which is surprisingly hard for me to write.)
Krognolon: Champion gladiator of Strugglesphere Four. Big brutish alien guy.
Nuboss: Alien pilot from Strugglesphere with the disposition of a frustrated shift manager at Kinkos.
Frigidaire-Devil: Obligatory ice-themed villain.
John Long the Thermal-Man: Equally obligatory fire-themed villain.
Swing Swordsman: 1920-30's inspired fencer. (The bee's knees, baby. Berries.)
The Shroud: Irritatingly mysterious villain. Melodramatic, and nobody really knows what he does, but it's probably evil... or is it?
Mother: Generic loving mother figure for commercials. The more Joan Cleavery the better.
Timmy: Equally generic little boy-type thing.
Little Girls: Blah blah blah...
TB Tabby Doll: Talking doll with tuberculosis. (Made in Taiwan!)
Jingle Singers: People who sing jingles. So far the only jingle I've written is for Dunky Cream Donuts... and I can't get it out of my head...
Incidentals and Background Characters: People just hangin' out and doin' stuff, whether it be exchanging ring tones, cheering wildly at off-world sporting events, or being violently evicerated. Not to mention the obligatory, "Look! Up in the sky!" dialog that should be expected of something like this.
I have, over the course of the first three episodes, at least 32 roles that need to be filled. The first episode alone has 13 characters. Actors will probably have to fill multiple roles, which shouldn't be too hard. Most of the characters are just incidental/background people that have maybe one line of screaming while their arms are getting ripped off. All in all, it sounds like there's more to this than there really is, but it also means I'll need a wide array of talent. Everything from dramatic announcers, to mothers and children, to semi-sinister villains, to demonic alien gladiators. I've even got a brief scene with zombie cows. ZOMBIE COWS!
Initially, phase 1 of this dastardly scheme consisted of writing as many radio scripts as I could manage so that once we begin broadcasting and I have less time to actually prepare nigh-intelligible dialog, there will be one less thing to rush through production. Perhaps I am falling into the old villainous cliche of impatiently reducing the preparation time and jumping right into the cool stuff with explosions and princess-napping, but I feel that the time has come to begin recording the show. I have two scripts completed, and a third underway. If I am to succeed any further I must learn how to utilize my audio editing facilities. Not only that, but recording my actors will bolster their enthusiasm for this project, and global domination is all about making the people happy (I wouldn't want anyone attempting to overthrow me.)
If I do begin recording, it does not need to be broadcast right away. I'm not entirely certain what my time-line is like, but there's no sense in getting started until I'm certain the operation is safe to commence. I'd still like to get a couple more scripts written up before weekly due dates come into play. It's better to learn and make mistakes before you activate the doomsday weapon, otherwise the hero is certain to find his way into your castle and screw with your important shit. The hero in this case, as is the case for most of my schemes, is Murphy. Murphy's Law is the one law I am most eager to break in order to achieve my goals.
If all goes according to plan, and Murphy does not interfere, I should be ready to start recording by the end of next week (Note the emphasis on the should.) My last post was full of defeat and negativity. That shall not happen again. From now on it's only positive upbeat awe-inspiring awesomeness worthy of the infamous Lord Veltha! In fact, I am so confidant that this plan will suceed I think we need to make promotional posters! (All in due time...)
In other, less important Velthan news, I will be heading to the Vancouver Share House office tomorrow to assist with bulk mailing. I have also registered for Kumoricon 2009... and we'll see how that goes.
Pathos and good will.
I am in the midst of a delicate operation. If THIS plan succeeds I will be one step closer to being one step closer to commencing my diabolical MASTER plan of global domination. But, before I go any further, I'll go ahead and start with the stuff people may care about (then I will ramble to my heart's content.)
Alright, so... after I learn how to properly operate my shiny new (and free) audio editing software, I will need to assemble some actors. I can record directly to my laptop, so I'll be able to record people at their convenience, and not have to arrange it so everyone has to gather together in one spot at a certain time. I've got a big long list of characters, so here are a few.
The Astonishing Dude: Stalwart defender of justice and title character.
Announcers: Need deep voiced radio announcer for episode intros and such, as well as intense energy-drink spokesperson, infomercial guy, and sweet lady varieties for commercial breaks.
Dr. Hands: Malevolent mustache-twirler and master of hand-to-hand combat. Forced to turn to crime due to the economic recession, and the need to purchase specialized ambidextrous tools.
Wrench Wench: The Astonishing Dude's sultry mechanic and on-again-off again romantic sub-plot (Although I have yet to see it set to "on".) Cursed by a gypsy to speak in innuendo (Which is surprisingly hard for me to write.)
Krognolon: Champion gladiator of Strugglesphere Four. Big brutish alien guy.
Nuboss: Alien pilot from Strugglesphere with the disposition of a frustrated shift manager at Kinkos.
Frigidaire-Devil: Obligatory ice-themed villain.
John Long the Thermal-Man: Equally obligatory fire-themed villain.
Swing Swordsman: 1920-30's inspired fencer. (The bee's knees, baby. Berries.)
The Shroud: Irritatingly mysterious villain. Melodramatic, and nobody really knows what he does, but it's probably evil... or is it?
Mother: Generic loving mother figure for commercials. The more Joan Cleavery the better.
Timmy: Equally generic little boy-type thing.
Little Girls: Blah blah blah...
TB Tabby Doll: Talking doll with tuberculosis. (Made in Taiwan!)
Jingle Singers: People who sing jingles. So far the only jingle I've written is for Dunky Cream Donuts... and I can't get it out of my head...
Incidentals and Background Characters: People just hangin' out and doin' stuff, whether it be exchanging ring tones, cheering wildly at off-world sporting events, or being violently evicerated. Not to mention the obligatory, "Look! Up in the sky!" dialog that should be expected of something like this.
I have, over the course of the first three episodes, at least 32 roles that need to be filled. The first episode alone has 13 characters. Actors will probably have to fill multiple roles, which shouldn't be too hard. Most of the characters are just incidental/background people that have maybe one line of screaming while their arms are getting ripped off. All in all, it sounds like there's more to this than there really is, but it also means I'll need a wide array of talent. Everything from dramatic announcers, to mothers and children, to semi-sinister villains, to demonic alien gladiators. I've even got a brief scene with zombie cows. ZOMBIE COWS!
Initially, phase 1 of this dastardly scheme consisted of writing as many radio scripts as I could manage so that once we begin broadcasting and I have less time to actually prepare nigh-intelligible dialog, there will be one less thing to rush through production. Perhaps I am falling into the old villainous cliche of impatiently reducing the preparation time and jumping right into the cool stuff with explosions and princess-napping, but I feel that the time has come to begin recording the show. I have two scripts completed, and a third underway. If I am to succeed any further I must learn how to utilize my audio editing facilities. Not only that, but recording my actors will bolster their enthusiasm for this project, and global domination is all about making the people happy (I wouldn't want anyone attempting to overthrow me.)
If I do begin recording, it does not need to be broadcast right away. I'm not entirely certain what my time-line is like, but there's no sense in getting started until I'm certain the operation is safe to commence. I'd still like to get a couple more scripts written up before weekly due dates come into play. It's better to learn and make mistakes before you activate the doomsday weapon, otherwise the hero is certain to find his way into your castle and screw with your important shit. The hero in this case, as is the case for most of my schemes, is Murphy. Murphy's Law is the one law I am most eager to break in order to achieve my goals.
If all goes according to plan, and Murphy does not interfere, I should be ready to start recording by the end of next week (Note the emphasis on the should.) My last post was full of defeat and negativity. That shall not happen again. From now on it's only positive upbeat awe-inspiring awesomeness worthy of the infamous Lord Veltha! In fact, I am so confidant that this plan will suceed I think we need to make promotional posters! (All in due time...)
In other, less important Velthan news, I will be heading to the Vancouver Share House office tomorrow to assist with bulk mailing. I have also registered for Kumoricon 2009... and we'll see how that goes.
Pathos and good will.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Accomplishment? Lord Veltha VS KOUG Radio
Today was completely and utterly overwhelming. I'm really not sure what happened. My head isn't throbbing as much since I took those pain killers. This is the result of me trying to push past my limits. I need to stick to merely reaching my limit for a while. This pushing crap is too much. This is like playing Final Fantasy IX and saying, "Okay, I'm gonna fight a Grand Dragon, and then go heal, and then fight another one, since I will be near death after fighting the first." And then getting attacked by a second dragon before you have time to recover... and then you die. It's pretty much like that. To offer a less geeky description, my day pretty much went as depicted in this doodle I was working on in order to focus and maintain a hold on my ever receding sanity.
Phase 1: I got to the WSU conference room plenty early, like an hour or so before the meeting started. I had stumbled around most of the morning: reading magazines, playing video games, etc. I was impatient to get there, so right after my early lunch I procured a shuttle and traversed the cosmos to reach the college. There I found a "Free Speech" board and was tempted to post a message of my own, but decided against it. Now I wish I had gone through with it. Perhaps next time.
Phase 2: After the meeting began and everyone was handed a type of application and "How To" checklist the station manager pulled out her digital recorder and interviewed everyone in the room, asking what they wanted to do for the station and what they wanted the station to do for them. I think I may have mentioned this somewhere else, but when I am in a new environment around new people I do not function properly. My mind cannot fully process everything that is going on. There is a stimulation overload. I simply freeze and observe the situation, determining whether I should run away or bust heads. Complete reptilian brain mode. As has been described in many a scholarly journal: reptiles suck at interviews. It was amazing. It sounded like everyone was reading from a script. Everyone knew exactly what they wanted. I began asking myself why I was there and by the time the microphone came before my face I had completely forgotten about my plans for a radio theater production. I managed to mention something about global domination, and that was that.
Phase 3. During most of the discussion I pretty much zoned out. I tried to pay attention, but most of it consisted of things I really could not follow. I have no idea how a radio station is run, so I suppose it was okay that I had no input. I was able to talk to a man sitting next to me who was also interested in having a radio drama on the station. He mentioned some kind of theater thing... I can't remember what it was... some kind of... reading theater. It's pretty much a live radio show, with no recording. It sounded interesting. I may have to attend and observe as I did with open mic poetry night. I followed along as best I could, but as I said, I had no input.
Phase 4. It was at this point where things made a turn for the worse. After sitting like a deer in headlights for a couple hours my emotions were running high. I wasn't really doing anything, and yet I was having lots of trouble with not screaming. Those who required training were asked to head to the station. I am not a student at WSU, and am not familiar with the campus. I followed some people who I thought were heading in that direction, but were instead going to the student commons. I tried to wait for someone to show me where to go, but after a few minutes I was unable to remain in the building. I scurried off to a bench by the water and engaged in a very un-overlordly display of emotions. I formed a plan in my head regarding locating the station and decided to wait until I calmed down to begin my investigations. The girl I had been waiting for then found me, concerned that I had wandered off, as I am prone to doing, and then lead me to the station. She kept me distracted and focused, but then she, and the station manager, began giving me tips on overcoming nervousness.
I did like the the expression the manager used; something along the line of, "Nervousness is just morbid excitement." but it's funny how someone trying to be helpful can also be insulting though. It is strange how angry I get when people try to help me cope with my anxiety. I feel misunderstood, like they really don't know what's going on with me. It's just something to be observant of. I'm trying to pay attention to what things affect me in what ways and how (That makes sense, right?) There was nothing to be offended about, and yet I was. It's just odd. It's like they were treating it like it wasn't a big deal. But then, why is it I make such a big deal about my anxiety? I thought about this more later. "I am not under attack. My life is not being threatened. Yet I am completely and utterly terrified."
The training was simple enough, though I can't remember how to run the Simian. Everything else I'm pretty sure I remember, but I can't remember how to operate the computer where all the music and play lists are stored. That's kind of a big deal in radio. It was then the manager remembered some kind of appointment she had and left the girl and I to keep things going in her absence.
Phase 5. I should never under any circumstance make a phone call when I'm agitated. Never! It's one thing to call someone because I'm freaked out, but I must have a certain amount of composure so that I may properly communicate. Communication is my biggest challenge. Even when I am able to talk and explain things I am rarely understood. Awareness of my faults is key. If I know there is a problem then I may be able to find a solution. Maybe next time things will go better. In this case I called to say that I was gonna be on the radio. I was so freaked out and hurried that I didn't explain how to listen to the station (which can be streamed at www.kougradio.com) and that I didn't actually need anything, I was just calling to relay information.
So when it all began, I sat and watched. This was easy enough. During the music the girl asked me to tell her something about myself. I will not enjoy job interviews, if ever I am given the opportunity to actually engage in one. I must come up with a response to this query. It is absolutely vital in regards to all social engagements that I am able to talk about myself. When I get started talking about things I am passionate about, I can't shut up. When I am given a broad topic though, such as myself, then I am at a complete loss. Then she asked me questions I really don't like answering because they greatly reduce my self-esteem. "Do you work?" "Do you go to school?" "Why don't you go to school?" "Do you drive?" "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I'm glad "Have you ever considered killing yourself?" didn't come up. That's always an awkward question in an interview... and one I will be sure to ask when interviewing prospective henchmen. I couldn't even answer what I do for fun. That's such an easy question! I have no obligations, so everything I do is something I do for fun! I read, I write, I play video games, I study comic books, I doodle, I take pictures of my stuffed animals in public... but none of this came to mind. I was still trapped in the headlights. She even asked me if I had ever gotten drunk. I explained that I had no intention of ever drinking. I am something of a control freak, but I understand that there is absolutely nothing in this world that is under my control. The only thing I can at least try to maintain is my perception of reality, and even that will be lost to me some day.
Eventually my courage came back. Now, this is an important thing for me to remember. This is a fundamental part of who I am, and how I interact with the world around me: I cannot multi task.
I. Can. Not.
I can search for music to play. I can provide useless banter between songs. I can not do both at once. When I have a play list ready to go and all I have to do is flip the mic on and off, and flip the source on and off, then I will be at ease. I know this. Since I could not, I did not, and I failed. After that stammering embarrassment I had to leave. It's a good thing that when I do my show it will be pre-recorded, and won't involve DJing.
Phase 6. There was much screaming and crying at the bus stop. There was also some physical abuse to inanimate objects and I would like to take the time to apologize to that poor trash can. You did not deserve such treatment. I paced and sang and talked out loud. The more I talk the less I think, and the less I think the better I feel... so... eat beans for every meal? I decided to reward my efforts by going to WalMart and playing the XBox 360 demo of Sonic Unleashed. I can easily go on for another few paragraphs about my opinion of that game, but now is not the time. Then I walked home.
I'm completely exhausted. I couldn't maintain my focus long enough to tell Mom about what happened today. I also knew if I tried that I would completely lose it. Every few minutes I remember something about the day and start freaking out, but I'm able to calm myself down. It may take a few days to recover. I don't know whether to classify today as a success or a failure. I did many things today that I certainly would not have done a year ago, or even a few months ago. I was able to stick with something... virtually all the way through. I said "Yes" when I could easily have said "No" and spared myself the pain, and experience. I feel like crap, and probably shortened my lifespan a little more from all the stress, but any battle you can walk away from is a victory... and here I am.
Maybe today was a good day after all.
Phase 1: I got to the WSU conference room plenty early, like an hour or so before the meeting started. I had stumbled around most of the morning: reading magazines, playing video games, etc. I was impatient to get there, so right after my early lunch I procured a shuttle and traversed the cosmos to reach the college. There I found a "Free Speech" board and was tempted to post a message of my own, but decided against it. Now I wish I had gone through with it. Perhaps next time.
Phase 2: After the meeting began and everyone was handed a type of application and "How To" checklist the station manager pulled out her digital recorder and interviewed everyone in the room, asking what they wanted to do for the station and what they wanted the station to do for them. I think I may have mentioned this somewhere else, but when I am in a new environment around new people I do not function properly. My mind cannot fully process everything that is going on. There is a stimulation overload. I simply freeze and observe the situation, determining whether I should run away or bust heads. Complete reptilian brain mode. As has been described in many a scholarly journal: reptiles suck at interviews. It was amazing. It sounded like everyone was reading from a script. Everyone knew exactly what they wanted. I began asking myself why I was there and by the time the microphone came before my face I had completely forgotten about my plans for a radio theater production. I managed to mention something about global domination, and that was that.
Phase 3. During most of the discussion I pretty much zoned out. I tried to pay attention, but most of it consisted of things I really could not follow. I have no idea how a radio station is run, so I suppose it was okay that I had no input. I was able to talk to a man sitting next to me who was also interested in having a radio drama on the station. He mentioned some kind of theater thing... I can't remember what it was... some kind of... reading theater. It's pretty much a live radio show, with no recording. It sounded interesting. I may have to attend and observe as I did with open mic poetry night. I followed along as best I could, but as I said, I had no input.
Phase 4. It was at this point where things made a turn for the worse. After sitting like a deer in headlights for a couple hours my emotions were running high. I wasn't really doing anything, and yet I was having lots of trouble with not screaming. Those who required training were asked to head to the station. I am not a student at WSU, and am not familiar with the campus. I followed some people who I thought were heading in that direction, but were instead going to the student commons. I tried to wait for someone to show me where to go, but after a few minutes I was unable to remain in the building. I scurried off to a bench by the water and engaged in a very un-overlordly display of emotions. I formed a plan in my head regarding locating the station and decided to wait until I calmed down to begin my investigations. The girl I had been waiting for then found me, concerned that I had wandered off, as I am prone to doing, and then lead me to the station. She kept me distracted and focused, but then she, and the station manager, began giving me tips on overcoming nervousness.
I did like the the expression the manager used; something along the line of, "Nervousness is just morbid excitement." but it's funny how someone trying to be helpful can also be insulting though. It is strange how angry I get when people try to help me cope with my anxiety. I feel misunderstood, like they really don't know what's going on with me. It's just something to be observant of. I'm trying to pay attention to what things affect me in what ways and how (That makes sense, right?) There was nothing to be offended about, and yet I was. It's just odd. It's like they were treating it like it wasn't a big deal. But then, why is it I make such a big deal about my anxiety? I thought about this more later. "I am not under attack. My life is not being threatened. Yet I am completely and utterly terrified."
The training was simple enough, though I can't remember how to run the Simian. Everything else I'm pretty sure I remember, but I can't remember how to operate the computer where all the music and play lists are stored. That's kind of a big deal in radio. It was then the manager remembered some kind of appointment she had and left the girl and I to keep things going in her absence.
Phase 5. I should never under any circumstance make a phone call when I'm agitated. Never! It's one thing to call someone because I'm freaked out, but I must have a certain amount of composure so that I may properly communicate. Communication is my biggest challenge. Even when I am able to talk and explain things I am rarely understood. Awareness of my faults is key. If I know there is a problem then I may be able to find a solution. Maybe next time things will go better. In this case I called to say that I was gonna be on the radio. I was so freaked out and hurried that I didn't explain how to listen to the station (which can be streamed at www.kougradio.com) and that I didn't actually need anything, I was just calling to relay information.
So when it all began, I sat and watched. This was easy enough. During the music the girl asked me to tell her something about myself. I will not enjoy job interviews, if ever I am given the opportunity to actually engage in one. I must come up with a response to this query. It is absolutely vital in regards to all social engagements that I am able to talk about myself. When I get started talking about things I am passionate about, I can't shut up. When I am given a broad topic though, such as myself, then I am at a complete loss. Then she asked me questions I really don't like answering because they greatly reduce my self-esteem. "Do you work?" "Do you go to school?" "Why don't you go to school?" "Do you drive?" "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I'm glad "Have you ever considered killing yourself?" didn't come up. That's always an awkward question in an interview... and one I will be sure to ask when interviewing prospective henchmen. I couldn't even answer what I do for fun. That's such an easy question! I have no obligations, so everything I do is something I do for fun! I read, I write, I play video games, I study comic books, I doodle, I take pictures of my stuffed animals in public... but none of this came to mind. I was still trapped in the headlights. She even asked me if I had ever gotten drunk. I explained that I had no intention of ever drinking. I am something of a control freak, but I understand that there is absolutely nothing in this world that is under my control. The only thing I can at least try to maintain is my perception of reality, and even that will be lost to me some day.
Eventually my courage came back. Now, this is an important thing for me to remember. This is a fundamental part of who I am, and how I interact with the world around me: I cannot multi task.
I. Can. Not.
I can search for music to play. I can provide useless banter between songs. I can not do both at once. When I have a play list ready to go and all I have to do is flip the mic on and off, and flip the source on and off, then I will be at ease. I know this. Since I could not, I did not, and I failed. After that stammering embarrassment I had to leave. It's a good thing that when I do my show it will be pre-recorded, and won't involve DJing.
Phase 6. There was much screaming and crying at the bus stop. There was also some physical abuse to inanimate objects and I would like to take the time to apologize to that poor trash can. You did not deserve such treatment. I paced and sang and talked out loud. The more I talk the less I think, and the less I think the better I feel... so... eat beans for every meal? I decided to reward my efforts by going to WalMart and playing the XBox 360 demo of Sonic Unleashed. I can easily go on for another few paragraphs about my opinion of that game, but now is not the time. Then I walked home.
I'm completely exhausted. I couldn't maintain my focus long enough to tell Mom about what happened today. I also knew if I tried that I would completely lose it. Every few minutes I remember something about the day and start freaking out, but I'm able to calm myself down. It may take a few days to recover. I don't know whether to classify today as a success or a failure. I did many things today that I certainly would not have done a year ago, or even a few months ago. I was able to stick with something... virtually all the way through. I said "Yes" when I could easily have said "No" and spared myself the pain, and experience. I feel like crap, and probably shortened my lifespan a little more from all the stress, but any battle you can walk away from is a victory... and here I am.
Maybe today was a good day after all.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Accomplishment: ANIMATION!
At long last my animation project, "What Are You Waiting For?" has been completed! Rejoice in the glory of Lord Veltha!
Okay... maybe it's not... technically... done yet, but it is virtually done. Even as we speak my computer is in the midst of the ever important rendering process, which seems to take about two hours for every minute of film. I must also find a way to get a copy to my producer for approval and organize a premiere party at the lair. Oh, the partying that shall ensue.
Three years ago I graduated from High School. After a brief college enrollment where I learned that really wide rolling backpacks are incredibly ill-designed, how to insert headers in Microsoft Word, how to grow efficiantly despise vector imaging programs (I made my fancy logo in college as a school project dealing with advertising. While other students were promoting products and bands I was developing my image as an evil overlord. Yes, I am awesome.), and that Portland is a horrible horrible place to go to school when you have to bus everywhere, I began working on a project entitled "Ninja Among Us" (a public service announcement that explained the encroaching ninja threat and how to defend yourself. This was back when the Ninja VS Pirates craze was at its peak.) Not long into that I was approached by my animation pimp who got an email from a friend who got an email from a friend about a guy from New York who was looking for a stick figure animator to... animate stick figures... and insert them into one of his old films. I was given the job and I've been working on it almost ever since.
This thing has been taking forever! When I started out I alternated days similar to how my High School schedule was organized. Monday and Wednesday I would write comics, Tuesday and Thursday I would animate, and Friday I would work on my novel. This continued on for a year or so. I was fortunate enough to be allowed sanction in my neighbor's house. They allowed me to use one of their spare rooms to set up my stuff. While I was thankful for this opportunity to have my own little studio, that was really the only place I went. Back and forth through the neighborhood every day. I had nowhere else to go and nobody to talk to. The isolation took its toll. When I finished drawing I was so terrified of the project that I refused to resume work on it. Even when I was allowed to use the animation equipment at my former High School there were several times I wanted to quit. I was watching my work in motion for the first time and did not like seeing how all those months of emotional labor amounted to total crap. Most of my fear stemmed from the knowledge that I would have to go back and re-animate certain scenes, and I had associated many horrible emotions with that activity. It wasn't until I began editing against the original film that I felt things were coming together. I did go back to the drawing board, as they say, and for the first two days it was okay and I laughed at my fears of becoming lost to extreme negativity. By the third day I had no patience for anything and had to keep myself from biting people's faces off.
But it's totally okay now! Now I am done. Now I am driven to ensure that such an experience never befalls me again. I have friends, I have goals, I have passions. I am pushing myself harder than I've ever thought possible to overcome my anxiety and break the cycle of despair. Global domination is at hand! With this animation completed I can focus on other projects what will hopefully allow for collaboration with others. I can start writing again! I would like to focus on my novel, but I am most interested in collaborating with people to produce comic books and short live action films. Tomorrow I get to attend a meeting at the radio station and discuss radio matters... with actual people!
I think most of the meeting will pertain to organizational matters, but I will be introduced to people who are interested in producing a radio drama. I've already emailed the new station manager a couple proposals that I think should be fairly easy to work on. When we find our stride we can pursue stories with more... I dunno... "scope." I'm interested in hearing other ideas. I would be more than happy to do grunt work at the station and provide voice talent. This is a great opportunity for shameless self-promotion since one of the goals of the studio is to make Vancouver more awesome by uniting artists. The station itself is volunteer work, but it is fun volunteer work! This is what I want to do. I may not be the most organized person, but I am committed.
When the animation is, for all intents and purposes, DONE, I must find a way to post it here. I don't want to bother with film festivals. I really don't. If Mr. Guy-In-New-York wants to do that stuff then great. It would be nice to see something done with all of this work, but I am more than happy to see it go away. I must work to accomplish my next mission, whatever that may be.
Pathos and Good Will.
Okay... maybe it's not... technically... done yet, but it is virtually done. Even as we speak my computer is in the midst of the ever important rendering process, which seems to take about two hours for every minute of film. I must also find a way to get a copy to my producer for approval and organize a premiere party at the lair. Oh, the partying that shall ensue.
Three years ago I graduated from High School. After a brief college enrollment where I learned that really wide rolling backpacks are incredibly ill-designed, how to insert headers in Microsoft Word, how to grow efficiantly despise vector imaging programs (I made my fancy logo in college as a school project dealing with advertising. While other students were promoting products and bands I was developing my image as an evil overlord. Yes, I am awesome.), and that Portland is a horrible horrible place to go to school when you have to bus everywhere, I began working on a project entitled "Ninja Among Us" (a public service announcement that explained the encroaching ninja threat and how to defend yourself. This was back when the Ninja VS Pirates craze was at its peak.) Not long into that I was approached by my animation pimp who got an email from a friend who got an email from a friend about a guy from New York who was looking for a stick figure animator to... animate stick figures... and insert them into one of his old films. I was given the job and I've been working on it almost ever since.
This thing has been taking forever! When I started out I alternated days similar to how my High School schedule was organized. Monday and Wednesday I would write comics, Tuesday and Thursday I would animate, and Friday I would work on my novel. This continued on for a year or so. I was fortunate enough to be allowed sanction in my neighbor's house. They allowed me to use one of their spare rooms to set up my stuff. While I was thankful for this opportunity to have my own little studio, that was really the only place I went. Back and forth through the neighborhood every day. I had nowhere else to go and nobody to talk to. The isolation took its toll. When I finished drawing I was so terrified of the project that I refused to resume work on it. Even when I was allowed to use the animation equipment at my former High School there were several times I wanted to quit. I was watching my work in motion for the first time and did not like seeing how all those months of emotional labor amounted to total crap. Most of my fear stemmed from the knowledge that I would have to go back and re-animate certain scenes, and I had associated many horrible emotions with that activity. It wasn't until I began editing against the original film that I felt things were coming together. I did go back to the drawing board, as they say, and for the first two days it was okay and I laughed at my fears of becoming lost to extreme negativity. By the third day I had no patience for anything and had to keep myself from biting people's faces off.
But it's totally okay now! Now I am done. Now I am driven to ensure that such an experience never befalls me again. I have friends, I have goals, I have passions. I am pushing myself harder than I've ever thought possible to overcome my anxiety and break the cycle of despair. Global domination is at hand! With this animation completed I can focus on other projects what will hopefully allow for collaboration with others. I can start writing again! I would like to focus on my novel, but I am most interested in collaborating with people to produce comic books and short live action films. Tomorrow I get to attend a meeting at the radio station and discuss radio matters... with actual people!
I think most of the meeting will pertain to organizational matters, but I will be introduced to people who are interested in producing a radio drama. I've already emailed the new station manager a couple proposals that I think should be fairly easy to work on. When we find our stride we can pursue stories with more... I dunno... "scope." I'm interested in hearing other ideas. I would be more than happy to do grunt work at the station and provide voice talent. This is a great opportunity for shameless self-promotion since one of the goals of the studio is to make Vancouver more awesome by uniting artists. The station itself is volunteer work, but it is fun volunteer work! This is what I want to do. I may not be the most organized person, but I am committed.
When the animation is, for all intents and purposes, DONE, I must find a way to post it here. I don't want to bother with film festivals. I really don't. If Mr. Guy-In-New-York wants to do that stuff then great. It would be nice to see something done with all of this work, but I am more than happy to see it go away. I must work to accomplish my next mission, whatever that may be.
Pathos and Good Will.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Dilemma! Lord Veltha VS Radio Station Part 2
At the risk of sounding repetitive...
CRAP!
CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!
CRAAAAAAP!
I... was not expecting this.
As followers of my blog may remember reading in "Lord Veltha's Quest Log: Episode 3: 'What's Cooking'" (now available on DVD and BluRay. Hassle NetFlix about not carrying it and see what kind of response you get.) I had a plot brewing regarding a job at a college radio station. After a month of no response I gathered my guts and persistence up and sent them as an attached ZIP file to the station earlier in the week. Just letting them know I was still interested, and that I'm by far the most awesome person they could ever hope to meet (It was a large ZIP file. Even compressed!) I wasn't expecting to get a reply, let alone an amazingly positive one!
They would like to know my availability so they can get me in for training. That's easy enough. It's the fact that they want me to write up a proposal for a radio drama, and would like to know if I would like a one-hour or more time slot. I just wanted to talk about doing one! I didn't want to actually come up with it! Well, I did... and had an idea that I thought was the greatest thing in the world...but now I'm nervous. My writing is rather... niche... sword 'n' sorcery fantasy stuff... sci-fi super hero BS. It's meant to be satirical, as the best way for me to express my love of something is to make fun of it (Paradise Lost is HILARIOUS!) and I'm guessing the audience will appreciate the joke... but... ARG!
I don't know what to be more freaked out about! (Not that I'm freaking out. It's just a figure of speech. As the overlord it is bellow me to express such exaggerated emotions.) I have ideas for things, sure, but I don't know how to write a proposal. I'm terrible at explaining things (Which is ironic, given my leadership status as evil leader of demonic minions.) I have to write up several, 'cause who knows what's going to get turned down?
AND AN HOUR! They need to fill up an hour or more of airtime. See, this is why I need minions! I need underlings to assist me in these endeavors. Alone I am no match for the threats of the world. Back when I thought I was getting a DJ position this was no concern. I can talk with great enthusiasm about things absolutely nobody cares about. That's my greatest skill! Plus if I ran out of things to rant/rave about I could cut to music. This... this is different.
If I was just coming in to act, as I will likely end up doing, then whatever. I could come in and hang out, play for a bit, and head home satisfied. This... I don't know what to think.
FOCUS! This is why I'm the overlord! This is not a dilemma! That would suggest there were two possible outcomes, and that neither was any fun. This is either a problem (something we don't like and can potentially fix), or a puzzle (Something that has guaranteed us there's an answer, and it's our job to find it.) From a "What could possibly go wrong?" standpoint... nothing. That is, if we send a proposal they may not like it and that's that. Big deal. We can still show off our voice talent and get a job when someone comes up with an idea they DO like. Less pressure on us, we have an opportunity to do what we love, and we can learn from people who may actually know what they're doing so when the time comes we can run our own show. Probably THE worst outcome is that I don't get to write or act and I'm exactly where I was before I contacted them. That just means I've got to find something else to do, and I think I may have another opportunity lined up (HOPE!)
The plan then is to write up a proposal. This becomes first priority. We can write several, just to give them more shiny things to look at. Then... we'll worry about what to do afterwards. One thing at a time.
I still need to finish my animation. It is so close to completion! I don't want to keep the station waiting... but I need to work on it!
Meh... It's not easy being evil.
CRAP!
CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!
CRAAAAAAP!
I... was not expecting this.
As followers of my blog may remember reading in "Lord Veltha's Quest Log: Episode 3: 'What's Cooking'" (now available on DVD and BluRay. Hassle NetFlix about not carrying it and see what kind of response you get.) I had a plot brewing regarding a job at a college radio station. After a month of no response I gathered my guts and persistence up and sent them as an attached ZIP file to the station earlier in the week. Just letting them know I was still interested, and that I'm by far the most awesome person they could ever hope to meet (It was a large ZIP file. Even compressed!) I wasn't expecting to get a reply, let alone an amazingly positive one!
They would like to know my availability so they can get me in for training. That's easy enough. It's the fact that they want me to write up a proposal for a radio drama, and would like to know if I would like a one-hour or more time slot. I just wanted to talk about doing one! I didn't want to actually come up with it! Well, I did... and had an idea that I thought was the greatest thing in the world...but now I'm nervous. My writing is rather... niche... sword 'n' sorcery fantasy stuff... sci-fi super hero BS. It's meant to be satirical, as the best way for me to express my love of something is to make fun of it (Paradise Lost is HILARIOUS!) and I'm guessing the audience will appreciate the joke... but... ARG!
I don't know what to be more freaked out about! (Not that I'm freaking out. It's just a figure of speech. As the overlord it is bellow me to express such exaggerated emotions.) I have ideas for things, sure, but I don't know how to write a proposal. I'm terrible at explaining things (Which is ironic, given my leadership status as evil leader of demonic minions.) I have to write up several, 'cause who knows what's going to get turned down?
AND AN HOUR! They need to fill up an hour or more of airtime. See, this is why I need minions! I need underlings to assist me in these endeavors. Alone I am no match for the threats of the world. Back when I thought I was getting a DJ position this was no concern. I can talk with great enthusiasm about things absolutely nobody cares about. That's my greatest skill! Plus if I ran out of things to rant/rave about I could cut to music. This... this is different.
If I was just coming in to act, as I will likely end up doing, then whatever. I could come in and hang out, play for a bit, and head home satisfied. This... I don't know what to think.
FOCUS! This is why I'm the overlord! This is not a dilemma! That would suggest there were two possible outcomes, and that neither was any fun. This is either a problem (something we don't like and can potentially fix), or a puzzle (Something that has guaranteed us there's an answer, and it's our job to find it.) From a "What could possibly go wrong?" standpoint... nothing. That is, if we send a proposal they may not like it and that's that. Big deal. We can still show off our voice talent and get a job when someone comes up with an idea they DO like. Less pressure on us, we have an opportunity to do what we love, and we can learn from people who may actually know what they're doing so when the time comes we can run our own show. Probably THE worst outcome is that I don't get to write or act and I'm exactly where I was before I contacted them. That just means I've got to find something else to do, and I think I may have another opportunity lined up (HOPE!)
The plan then is to write up a proposal. This becomes first priority. We can write several, just to give them more shiny things to look at. Then... we'll worry about what to do afterwards. One thing at a time.
I still need to finish my animation. It is so close to completion! I don't want to keep the station waiting... but I need to work on it!
Meh... It's not easy being evil.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Accomplishment: Lord Veltha VS Karaoke
Crap
CRAP!
Holy mother of the all-knowing ever loving feces boutique of the cosmos!
My stomach hurts. I'm not sure if it's nerves or the pizza and chocolate chip cookie (Pizza... and A chocolate chip cookie. Not a pizza flavored dessert with chocolate chips, I'm sorry to say.) I've had pizza several times recently, but I usually don't ingest sugar because it gives me an adverse reaction. I'm not sure if this is from eating one cookie though. It seems like one of those "big picture" intestinal distresses.
I need to lie down.
I went to karaoke. Second time in a bar, second time drinking only water (I swear, but who knows what they put in it?) and first time getting up and singing in front of a small group of staggering, swearing, strangers. The first thing to come to my attention was the dim lighting. I suppose it's bad enough hearing people sing. Who would want to look at them? It must be a measure to prevent embarrassment. I would have thought the alcohol was enough, but perhaps they get sober smart-asses like me in there that are only present to take advantage of the wonderful mono sound system.
Once I started flipping through the song books I was pleasantly surprised to find songs I actually know. There's quite a selection in there. Everything from TV Themes (Brady Bunch, Spider-Man, Etc) to musicals (Rocky Horror, West Side Story, Etc.) The book that lists songs by title appears to be twice as thick as the volume that lists songs by artist, but why not? It's their bar. Who am I to judge? Maybe when I take over the world I'll have them update their song binders. I started filling out cards each time I came to a song I knew, more to keep track of things than to compile a set list, but I ended up singing three songs. I left before the fourth came up due to the aforementioned stomach issues. I have heard cliched descriptions regarding the knocking together of knees, but until last night it had never happened to me. I'm a fan of verticality when before people. Plus I am allergic to pain, and falling down would have made me break out in a big purple rash. Terribly embarrassing. In all, I really do think that perhaps it was nerves that unsettled me.
The first song I sang was Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash. Everyone else was singing country, and I hate to stand out in an unfamiliar environment... right away. From then on I was addressed by the nickname "Sue," and if anyone happens to recognize me I will likely continue to be. I'll probably be remembered since I'm possibly the first person under the age of menopause to take the stage in quite some time.
Second came Falling For the First Time by Barenaked Ladies, and as usual I sung it too high. I break out of key at the end of each verse. This is nothing to worry about as karaoke is traditionally sung out of key until the chorus, if that. That's the great thing about karaoke: there's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to singing; just being there in the first place.
Third was my personal favorite. I had planned to sing it at the Senior Showcase back in high school, and despite my inability to attend I learned it and learned it well. I dare say a woman was moved to tears by my powerful performance of One More Minute by Weird Al Yankovic. I had planned on leaving after that because my stomach was acting up, and while vomiting in a bar may be common it is not something I feel someone of my overlordly stature should indulge in. I was talked into doing one more, and signed up to do Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer (Seriously! It was right there! I almost cried when I saw it.) but was called away by nagging pain and the threat of violently retching. I did much better once I arrived back home. Powdery pink pills and hot baths help a lot.
Today was also garage sale day. I firmly believe my chalk drawing advertisements boosted sales. I should add that to my resume for when I apply for more jobs. I must obtain a job so that I my finance my Velthan Battle Cruiser, or whatever title I decide to give my vehicle in the spur of the moment.
For now... whatever.
Pathos and good will.
CRAP!
Holy mother of the all-knowing ever loving feces boutique of the cosmos!
My stomach hurts. I'm not sure if it's nerves or the pizza and chocolate chip cookie (Pizza... and A chocolate chip cookie. Not a pizza flavored dessert with chocolate chips, I'm sorry to say.) I've had pizza several times recently, but I usually don't ingest sugar because it gives me an adverse reaction. I'm not sure if this is from eating one cookie though. It seems like one of those "big picture" intestinal distresses.
I need to lie down.
I went to karaoke. Second time in a bar, second time drinking only water (I swear, but who knows what they put in it?) and first time getting up and singing in front of a small group of staggering, swearing, strangers. The first thing to come to my attention was the dim lighting. I suppose it's bad enough hearing people sing. Who would want to look at them? It must be a measure to prevent embarrassment. I would have thought the alcohol was enough, but perhaps they get sober smart-asses like me in there that are only present to take advantage of the wonderful mono sound system.
Once I started flipping through the song books I was pleasantly surprised to find songs I actually know. There's quite a selection in there. Everything from TV Themes (Brady Bunch, Spider-Man, Etc) to musicals (Rocky Horror, West Side Story, Etc.) The book that lists songs by title appears to be twice as thick as the volume that lists songs by artist, but why not? It's their bar. Who am I to judge? Maybe when I take over the world I'll have them update their song binders. I started filling out cards each time I came to a song I knew, more to keep track of things than to compile a set list, but I ended up singing three songs. I left before the fourth came up due to the aforementioned stomach issues. I have heard cliched descriptions regarding the knocking together of knees, but until last night it had never happened to me. I'm a fan of verticality when before people. Plus I am allergic to pain, and falling down would have made me break out in a big purple rash. Terribly embarrassing. In all, I really do think that perhaps it was nerves that unsettled me.
The first song I sang was Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash. Everyone else was singing country, and I hate to stand out in an unfamiliar environment... right away. From then on I was addressed by the nickname "Sue," and if anyone happens to recognize me I will likely continue to be. I'll probably be remembered since I'm possibly the first person under the age of menopause to take the stage in quite some time.
Second came Falling For the First Time by Barenaked Ladies, and as usual I sung it too high. I break out of key at the end of each verse. This is nothing to worry about as karaoke is traditionally sung out of key until the chorus, if that. That's the great thing about karaoke: there's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to singing; just being there in the first place.
Third was my personal favorite. I had planned to sing it at the Senior Showcase back in high school, and despite my inability to attend I learned it and learned it well. I dare say a woman was moved to tears by my powerful performance of One More Minute by Weird Al Yankovic. I had planned on leaving after that because my stomach was acting up, and while vomiting in a bar may be common it is not something I feel someone of my overlordly stature should indulge in. I was talked into doing one more, and signed up to do Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer (Seriously! It was right there! I almost cried when I saw it.) but was called away by nagging pain and the threat of violently retching. I did much better once I arrived back home. Powdery pink pills and hot baths help a lot.
Today was also garage sale day. I firmly believe my chalk drawing advertisements boosted sales. I should add that to my resume for when I apply for more jobs. I must obtain a job so that I my finance my Velthan Battle Cruiser, or whatever title I decide to give my vehicle in the spur of the moment.
For now... whatever.
Pathos and good will.
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