In my quest for ullllllllltimate DOMINANCE, I have been pursuing a part-time job to fuel my outlandish schemes, and while I have staked out many an opportunity for employment I have wisely chosen to focus my sheer tenacity upon one PRIME job location as I am a firm believer that anything worth doing is worth doing WITH THE BURNING PASSION OF A THOUSAND EXPLODING SUNS! Some may regard me as a fool for placing all of my eggs in one basket, until they realize the eggs are really HAND GRENADES of UNWAVERING CONVICTION in a basket WEAVED FROM MY ALL-CONSUMING AND DELIGHTFUL CHARM! AND! ELEGANCE! While I still have yet to receive confirmation that the fruits of my labor are juicy and rich in vitamin C, I believe there is promise that I, LORD VELTHA, will receive notification of my first ever job interview in a matter of days. Victory! Is! AT HAND! And yet even if some horrible clerical error determines I do not meet the requirements for the position, I continue to spread my web of intrigue beyond the local bus route in the firm belief that word will spread through the underground of my UNDYING DETERMINATION TO ACHIEVE and that will be enough to solidify another promising job opportunity. Eventually, store managers will be BEGGING me to fill their vacant entry-level positions.
And to any non-believers out there who believe that I have completely forsaken my ART in order to pursue these lesser goals, and to the naysayers who claim I’m demoting myself to “wage slave,” FEAR NOT, for though technology is determined to fail me at every turn it is no MATCH for the combined force of my SUPERIOR INTELLECT and DUCT TAPE! I continue to audition for amateur voice acting roles in hopes of being discovered and to gain experience while I seek information that could lead me to a profession in the field. The Astonishing Dude Episode 3 is underway, with only a few roles in need of recasting, no real promise as of yet that we’ll get the show back online, and we are once more in want of a recording space to finish one last scene and record actors that are finally free now that school is out, but we’re limping along, and we limp with PURPOSE!
Also, with my allies free from school and available to provide me with much needed camaraderie on a more frequent basis, I believe it may be time to return to writing in earnest. Writing is what I do best, but it is a lonely art. I desire to write scripts for theater, film and comics. Many of my allies sail under other banners as they seek their fortune across the horizon. As an overlord I am nothing without minions, but I WILL persevere in my endeavors.
MOST IMPORTANT is my newfound resolve to return to the ULTIMATE BATTLEFIELD! Never again will I hide in shame before succumbing to my own insecurities. I will triumph! I will succeed! I asked a girl out! I am terrified! She’s going to say, “no!” She’s going to say, “yes!” I’m going to be stood up! I’m going to unintentionally stand her up! We’re going to be having a nice time and then WHAM! Nosebleed into the sushi! I’m going to be alone forever! I’m going to be stuck with a psycho forever! I’m going to take very deep breaths in the corner until I calm the hell down!
I AM LORD VELTHA! THE WORLD IS MINE!
PATHOS! AND GOOD! WILL!
Sincerely,
Lord V. <3
PS: I still haven't discussed medication with my physician.
Ugh. At least for me, a job interview is like fighting the impossible final boss on a game that is already too difficult. I hope you have some extra lives.
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