Once again it has been some time since I last updated my conquest blog. This absence of activity can logically be attributed to a lack of recent accomplishments. One of my most valuable servants has recently sustained heavy injury at the hands of zombified bears, and I have been forced to focus my attention on the lair’s upkeep and insuring that my vassal recovers in a timely fashion so as not to further inconvenience me. (Yes, you may say it. I am a truly benevolent overlord.)
The undead ursine outbreak couldn’t have happened at a worse time as I have recently been, shall I say, “volunteering” at a local mental health clinic. I was mislead to believe that the facility would provide me with a fresh diagnosis for my particular genius. They were however unqualified to issue a professional diagnosis, but the word “psychotic” had escaped the lips of one of the employees (and was quickly followed by, “My god! No! Please stop! Please! I take it back! Please! No! NO! I beg you! AHHHHH!” which may or may not have been a psychological term describing Thanatophobia.)
While they were unhelpful in regards to defining for me what it is that makes me so great (I will settle for “rugged good-looks” if I can’t find a second opinion) they were able to provide me with some small matters of insight pertaining to the few barriers I still face on my way to global domination.
While I am in no way denying that my intellect stretches far beyond the veil of cognitive conscious… -itude… there was a time, believe it or not, when I was in many ways smarter than I am today (by a standardized academic definition at any rate.) My ability to learn and retain information has dwindled over the years. Memory, concentration, memory; have all suffered at the hands of some unquantifiable foe. I now believe I understand the culprit behind my not-smart-no-more-ness.
BRAIN POISONING!
Yes, my faithful followers. My brain has been poisoned… by MYSELF!
This isn’t any old metaphorical “brain poisoning” as suggested by advocates against video games, comic books, and Chevy Chase. Oh no, this poisoning is real.
As it turns out, hyperventilating in the case of extreme stress and anxiety causes a deregulation in oxygen or something something whatever. Carbon dioxide gets stored up in the brain along with the FDA approved oxygen it requires, and brain cells begin to suffocate and die horrible agonizing deaths. Brain cells that are lost are unable to grow back. While it isn’t exactly comforting to know that every time I become emotionally distraught my brain withers like an old piece of fruit, it is added incentive to bottle up my surplus of negative emotions (this way instead of a slow painful death while I watch everything I hold dear slip away from me and become obscured by dementia, I will continue along my present path unabated until the day I spontaneously combust in one big glorious ball of inner turmoil that could level a small country given twenty years of suppression. I am my own doomsday device.)
It seems like there was something else I learned, but I don’t remember it. Something about people and how I don’t have anyone other than my therapist to really confide in, which is unfortunate as it’s nearly impossible to reach her in a time of emotional crisis. They were probably just trying to get me to trust them so they could discover my weakness and exploit it. People can't be trusted. I’m much better off learning how to deal with my feelings without assistance. I’ve been doing a great job so far. (*cough*)
I am trying to re-formulate my strategy for success. Impatience has been known to foil 99.99% of evil overlords, but I need an empire and I need it yesterday! (Yes, I’m getting desperate enough that time-travel is being taken into consideration, and I HATE time-travel.) My literary works aren’t going to be completed within a reasonable period of time, and there are too many downsides to sitting around locked in my chamber alone to risk focusing my efforts on them. Voice acting seems to be the most viable use of my talents. Unfortunately I know nothing of “the business.” There is one thing I’ve been noticing by following the exploits of my heroes (most recently M. Bison of Shadowloo): they all have a complex network of connections, but it’s never established how they were… established. I am at a severe disadvantage as I am unable to sustain my polite, energetic, intelligent behavior. There are any number of circumstances that cause me to cease functioning in an ideal manner. If I am able to be myself in the presence of someone who could potentially influence my chosen profession then I can almost guarantee that they will at the least like me enough to thrown in a good word to a guy who knows a guy. Many people do not get the opportunity to be graced by my true glorious self however, and instead see a quiet simpering fool struggling to hold back his screams of fear and hopelessness. This is what must be remedied, but the best remedy is a purposeful life of accomplishment. I fear I cannot achieve my goals until I have become the master of my mind and body, and in order to do that I must my goals. The endless cycle known as “Catch-22” rolls on as I am left behind wondering, as the kids say (out loud), “WTF?”
Some day my dreams will come true. In the meantime I have a cat box to clean.
Pathos and goodwill,
Lord Veltha
PS: Press a links for the great prize!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Lord Veltha is a typhoon of WIN
It's official. I am a tropical cyclone of amateur voice acting success. It's been almost a month since my last post, and in that time I have landed a slew of roles that will surely not become overwhelming in the least.
...
*cough*
Upon being cast in Naruto The Abridged Series Movie (and hookers!) my ego was inflated to beyond healthy proportions and I decided to investigate further roles. The fellow who kindly pointed me in the direction of the "Old Guy" audition mentioned that he was casting for Wild ARMS Abridged.
For those who don't know (namely my parents) an "Abridged Series" is a fan made series of videos often posted on YouTube where anime fans condense thirty minute episodes into eight or ten minutes, often lampshading confusing plot points, making fun of annoying characters, or completely changing a character's personality (or ethnicity, eh?) Often the resulting show becomes almost completely unrecognizable. There are many many bad ones, and even the more popular ones will make you want to lick a cheese grater to get your mind off of the pain, but they are altogether a somewhat humorous display of fandom.
For more information, consult the media entertainment equivalent of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: TV Tropes
After auditioning and receiving praise (and yea, even lending some requested script assistance) I got the role. I didn't know how many of the roles I got until now, but I'll get to that.
It was also from this source I learned of Voice Acting Alliance, which is a resource for amateur voice actors, directors, producers, etc who have all come together with a common goal: be awesome. It was here I decided to bite off more than I can chew, and why I continue to resemble a cow chewing cud.
For the record (and because my own memory is so terrible that I really need to write this crap down somewhere) here is the current list of projects I'm engaged in.
Wild ARMS Abridged (Abridged series based on Wild ARMS: Twilight Venom)
-Sheyanne Rainstorm (High normal voice. I didn't even audition for it! No kidding! I hate my voice...)
-Dr. Kiel Arronax (AKA "Doctor Captain Pirate Mullet". Brock Samson)
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Black Nerv Project (Not sure what the final name is, but it's a parody of Evangelion. From the looks of the script, I don't think they actually shortened it, so I don't think it's "Abridged." Amazing script though.)
-Fuyutsuki (The Old Guy strikes again! Get off my lawn!)
-Male Announcers 1, 2, and 3, helicopter pilots, crew mamber (I haven't gotten a critique yet on my auditions, so I'm not sure what I'm doing here. For these I mostly used variations on my annoying normal voice, and Stu Brawny Johnson. (Think Coach Z from homestarrunner.com))
-Sachiel The Angel (They said "Go nuts!" I went nuts, throwing in every voice I can do. I don't know what one they chose, and may not know until the show is finished because they only needed that one line.)
By the way, they're still looking for actresses.
Mega Man X: Vile (A fan-made RPG based on the Mega Man X series.)
I auditioned for four roles, and didn't get any of them because my voices didn't fit the characters. Luckily, I still got parts.
-Metal Shark Player (Auditioned for Dr. Wily. High-pitched pirate. Yeah, I'm awesome.)
- Mattrex (KROGNOLON! I have to make him sound sly and not stupid though. We'll see how that goes.)
I also get to re-audition for the role of Dynamo after having heard more information, and a clip from another audition. (I think I gotta go somewhere between Brock Samson and my normal voice. Have I mentioned I hate my normal voice? Just recordings though. I can and do talk to myself incessantly.)
That's not a whole lot, right? Sure my social life is suffering, but that's because I've been reclusive and depressed! Now I'll be isolated from the people I care about because of my heavy workload, the way it's SUPPOSED to be. Just in time for the holidays. (That's okay, people can pick up their Snowflake Day presents next month.)
I have a lot of links scattered around in this post. I don't know if they'll transfer over to Facebook or not. If not, then tough luck.
(Quick Rant: I downloaded a Dragonball Raging Blast demo last night. Now, why the HELL would they put out a demo of a FIGHTING GAME and not make it TWO PLAYER? It's RIDICULOUS!)
Pathos and good will,
Lord V.
...
*cough*
Upon being cast in Naruto The Abridged Series Movie (and hookers!) my ego was inflated to beyond healthy proportions and I decided to investigate further roles. The fellow who kindly pointed me in the direction of the "Old Guy" audition mentioned that he was casting for Wild ARMS Abridged.
For those who don't know (namely my parents) an "Abridged Series" is a fan made series of videos often posted on YouTube where anime fans condense thirty minute episodes into eight or ten minutes, often lampshading confusing plot points, making fun of annoying characters, or completely changing a character's personality (or ethnicity, eh?) Often the resulting show becomes almost completely unrecognizable. There are many many bad ones, and even the more popular ones will make you want to lick a cheese grater to get your mind off of the pain, but they are altogether a somewhat humorous display of fandom.
For more information, consult the media entertainment equivalent of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: TV Tropes
After auditioning and receiving praise (and yea, even lending some requested script assistance) I got the role. I didn't know how many of the roles I got until now, but I'll get to that.
It was also from this source I learned of Voice Acting Alliance, which is a resource for amateur voice actors, directors, producers, etc who have all come together with a common goal: be awesome. It was here I decided to bite off more than I can chew, and why I continue to resemble a cow chewing cud.
For the record (and because my own memory is so terrible that I really need to write this crap down somewhere) here is the current list of projects I'm engaged in.
Wild ARMS Abridged (Abridged series based on Wild ARMS: Twilight Venom)
-Sheyanne Rainstorm (High normal voice. I didn't even audition for it! No kidding! I hate my voice...)
-Dr. Kiel Arronax (AKA "Doctor Captain Pirate Mullet". Brock Samson)
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Black Nerv Project (Not sure what the final name is, but it's a parody of Evangelion. From the looks of the script, I don't think they actually shortened it, so I don't think it's "Abridged." Amazing script though.)
-Fuyutsuki (The Old Guy strikes again! Get off my lawn!)
-Male Announcers 1, 2, and 3, helicopter pilots, crew mamber (I haven't gotten a critique yet on my auditions, so I'm not sure what I'm doing here. For these I mostly used variations on my annoying normal voice, and Stu Brawny Johnson. (Think Coach Z from homestarrunner.com))
-Sachiel The Angel (They said "Go nuts!" I went nuts, throwing in every voice I can do. I don't know what one they chose, and may not know until the show is finished because they only needed that one line.)
By the way, they're still looking for actresses.
Mega Man X: Vile (A fan-made RPG based on the Mega Man X series.)
I auditioned for four roles, and didn't get any of them because my voices didn't fit the characters. Luckily, I still got parts.
-Metal Shark Player (Auditioned for Dr. Wily. High-pitched pirate. Yeah, I'm awesome.)
- Mattrex (KROGNOLON! I have to make him sound sly and not stupid though. We'll see how that goes.)
I also get to re-audition for the role of Dynamo after having heard more information, and a clip from another audition. (I think I gotta go somewhere between Brock Samson and my normal voice. Have I mentioned I hate my normal voice? Just recordings though. I can and do talk to myself incessantly.)
That's not a whole lot, right? Sure my social life is suffering, but that's because I've been reclusive and depressed! Now I'll be isolated from the people I care about because of my heavy workload, the way it's SUPPOSED to be. Just in time for the holidays. (That's okay, people can pick up their Snowflake Day presents next month.)
I have a lot of links scattered around in this post. I don't know if they'll transfer over to Facebook or not. If not, then tough luck.
(Quick Rant: I downloaded a Dragonball Raging Blast demo last night. Now, why the HELL would they put out a demo of a FIGHTING GAME and not make it TWO PLAYER? It's RIDICULOUS!)
Pathos and good will,
Lord V.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Lord Veltha VS Nostalgia
Updates, updates, updates.
I haven't been on Blogger for some time now. I could look up when my last post was, but by that time I'd lose focus and never find my way back to actually writing a new post.
The Astonishing Dude seems to have all but stopped. I seem to have caught the Suck-Virus (if that sounds disgusting, believe me, it is. I don't understand how so many people can live life without being awesome.) and have trouble with minor things such as dialing phones, sending emails, or making it to the library to check out books that I've had on hold until the hold expires (I did finally get one though! It's, uhh... "Stitches" by David Small, and frankly I'm not sure I'm ready to read it. I should probably take it back.) Hopefully I won't have The Suck for much longer, but it seems to be keeping me indoors a lot. Even when I am able to communicate with someone it's fine while it lasts, but immediately afterwords blah blah blah angst no need to get into that muck.
My mediocre career as a voice actor flickers on though. I've recently been cast in the role of Sandayu "The Old Guy" Asama in the Naruto The Abridged Series Movie. In a super roundabout way, as things tend to fall, I auditioned for minor roles in Sonic Abridged, a guy said NTAS was lookin' for someone, and lo and behold I got the part. I have yet to actually get in touch with Vegeta3986, but I must have patience (Not everyone is as burdened with having excessive quantities of free time as myself. Woe is me.) and in time I will be killed by a ninja train (Yes, the train itself is a ninja. It hurls more kunai then anyone else and kills the most people. It might not be the most stealthy assassin what with being a train and all, but hey... this is Naruto we're talking about. they don't actually place a heavy emphasis on stealth.)
I'm writing again. It's been a while. While this is wonderful news considering I'm at my most attuned with greatness when I'm clacking away at a keyboard telling stories that in all likelihood will never reach the eyes of readers, I'm not... actually... uh...
You see, the thing is... this thing I'm writing, while it's great I'm writing it... it's... uh... well, it's it's it's... fan-fiction.
You have to understand. I have horrible associations with fan-fiction on at least two counts. No.1 is quality. I realize that not everyone writes as terribly as the admittedly funny and equally grammatical-aneurysm inducing freakfest of "My Immortal" (of which I have only read about on TVtropes.org and decided I'm not in the right state of mind to read the actual... thing.) but I tend to associate fan-fiction with crap. I'm not saying anything I write is any better (I'm just gracious enough to hide it from anyone and everyone), and I'm sad to admit there are fan-produced works that are better than anything I do, I'm saying that this is my association.
No.2 is more personal. I have this overwhelming need to make something of myself and do things that I deem "Productive." I have no real direction in life, so I don't fully understand how I classify something as productive, but it seems to correspond to busy work I feel good doing. I have this grand scheme that some of my work falls into, but I know full well that this plot will never come to fruition. I'm just working for the sake of working and daydreaming that something good will come of it. With that said; working on an project comprised of unoriginal ideas that I cannot use to further my rhetorical goals seems like a waste of time. It does keep me writing though, and any time spent writing can't be considered a waste of time. It makes me happy. It gets my limited capacity for creativity flowing. It keeps my mind off of other issues. All is well.
Even my doodles are going the way of parody. I'm halfway through my series of AWESOME Luke doodles, depicting how A New Hope would be different if Luke Skywalker didn't suck. The best description I've heard was that this is what Star Wars would be like if Happy Noodle Boy were Luke, which brought me no end of amusement. I originally started doodling again as a way to express my neurotic thoughts, which I continue to do when I come across a thought I'm able to make fun of, but now it's mostly AWESOME Luke (and I do feel the need to capitalise awesome, which may be another neurotic thing.) The idea came about one day as I was walking about daydreaming about Sonic The Hedgehog, as usual, when I started casting Sonic characters as Star Wars roles. After about half an hour of debate I cast Sonic as Luke and laughed at the thought of Luke being awesome. Then the doodles began of AWESOME Luke, and soon after I caved in to the urge to actually write what I'd originally been daydreaming about.
So now everything I'm doing revolves around fandom and parody. My voice acting, writing, and doodles.
I have learned something about myself though. I've learned that nostalgia plays a key role in my life. I learned this while browsing Overclocked Remix. Most of the songs on my MP3 player are either punk covers of old songs, or video game OSTs and remixes. I only listen to songs I've heard before. I have trouble getting into new music. I don't listen to the radio, and when it's on I tend to tune it out. When friends on Facebook post videos of their favorite bands I listen, but I don't feel any connection. Even ripping CDs for Mom I occasionally say, "You know, the rhythm, the melody, everything here is something I would like... but I don't."
Video games are the same way. If I play a new game in a series it feels... wrong. I couldn't get into Sonic Advance, and even Sonic Rush (which is now one of my favorite games) felt odd at first because I'm so used to playing the Genesis titles over and over until I play them by heart the way someone sings a song by heart. When people sing do they remember the words? When I sing the words just flow out. Come the second or third verse I have to remember the first line, but then the rest pours out naturally and I'm not even sure i know what I'm singing. That's how I play video games, and Sonic especially. Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack In Time came out recently. Now, when I got Tools of Destruction it had been a good few years since I played the previous games, and I'd only played through each of them once or twice. When CiT came out I decided to go through all of the games in order before I picked it up at the store. It'd been a long time since I played through the series, so I had nothing memorised, but when I saw things I recalled seeing them before, almost like deja vu. Once I started playing CiT things felt weird. There may be a few cosmetic differences, but every R&C game is pretty much the same. The thing that felt odd wasn't that the game was new, it was that I didn't remember it. I need things to be familiar. I don't respond well to change.
I might be getting a psychological evaluation soon. My therapist asked me last week if I'd ever had one. She felt terrible that she hadn't asked sooner. She also apologized a lot because she didn't want me to feel like there was something "wrong" with me. I know there's nothing "wrong," but I also know there's a whole lot keeping me from being "right," and I'd like to have a better understanding of what that is.
I played Commodore 64 last night for the first time in years. It felt great, even though I died without getting any farther in The Amazing Spider-Man than I have before (Drowning in dookie water.) Batman: The Caped Crusader is just as impossible as I remember, but a lot funnier ("You got the A Fried Egg.") I also suck at Kings of the Beach now, which was never the case before. My reaction time is completely shot. I'm thinking about hooking up my Genesis, even though most of the games I own I've been playing on PS2. The feel of a classic controller can't be emulated.
I haven't been on Blogger for some time now. I could look up when my last post was, but by that time I'd lose focus and never find my way back to actually writing a new post.
The Astonishing Dude seems to have all but stopped. I seem to have caught the Suck-Virus (if that sounds disgusting, believe me, it is. I don't understand how so many people can live life without being awesome.) and have trouble with minor things such as dialing phones, sending emails, or making it to the library to check out books that I've had on hold until the hold expires (I did finally get one though! It's, uhh... "Stitches" by David Small, and frankly I'm not sure I'm ready to read it. I should probably take it back.) Hopefully I won't have The Suck for much longer, but it seems to be keeping me indoors a lot. Even when I am able to communicate with someone it's fine while it lasts, but immediately afterwords blah blah blah angst no need to get into that muck.
My mediocre career as a voice actor flickers on though. I've recently been cast in the role of Sandayu "The Old Guy" Asama in the Naruto The Abridged Series Movie. In a super roundabout way, as things tend to fall, I auditioned for minor roles in Sonic Abridged, a guy said NTAS was lookin' for someone, and lo and behold I got the part. I have yet to actually get in touch with Vegeta3986, but I must have patience (Not everyone is as burdened with having excessive quantities of free time as myself. Woe is me.) and in time I will be killed by a ninja train (Yes, the train itself is a ninja. It hurls more kunai then anyone else and kills the most people. It might not be the most stealthy assassin what with being a train and all, but hey... this is Naruto we're talking about. they don't actually place a heavy emphasis on stealth.)
I'm writing again. It's been a while. While this is wonderful news considering I'm at my most attuned with greatness when I'm clacking away at a keyboard telling stories that in all likelihood will never reach the eyes of readers, I'm not... actually... uh...
You see, the thing is... this thing I'm writing, while it's great I'm writing it... it's... uh... well, it's it's it's... fan-fiction.
You have to understand. I have horrible associations with fan-fiction on at least two counts. No.1 is quality. I realize that not everyone writes as terribly as the admittedly funny and equally grammatical-aneurysm inducing freakfest of "My Immortal" (of which I have only read about on TVtropes.org and decided I'm not in the right state of mind to read the actual... thing.) but I tend to associate fan-fiction with crap. I'm not saying anything I write is any better (I'm just gracious enough to hide it from anyone and everyone), and I'm sad to admit there are fan-produced works that are better than anything I do, I'm saying that this is my association.
No.2 is more personal. I have this overwhelming need to make something of myself and do things that I deem "Productive." I have no real direction in life, so I don't fully understand how I classify something as productive, but it seems to correspond to busy work I feel good doing. I have this grand scheme that some of my work falls into, but I know full well that this plot will never come to fruition. I'm just working for the sake of working and daydreaming that something good will come of it. With that said; working on an project comprised of unoriginal ideas that I cannot use to further my rhetorical goals seems like a waste of time. It does keep me writing though, and any time spent writing can't be considered a waste of time. It makes me happy. It gets my limited capacity for creativity flowing. It keeps my mind off of other issues. All is well.
Even my doodles are going the way of parody. I'm halfway through my series of AWESOME Luke doodles, depicting how A New Hope would be different if Luke Skywalker didn't suck. The best description I've heard was that this is what Star Wars would be like if Happy Noodle Boy were Luke, which brought me no end of amusement. I originally started doodling again as a way to express my neurotic thoughts, which I continue to do when I come across a thought I'm able to make fun of, but now it's mostly AWESOME Luke (and I do feel the need to capitalise awesome, which may be another neurotic thing.) The idea came about one day as I was walking about daydreaming about Sonic The Hedgehog, as usual, when I started casting Sonic characters as Star Wars roles. After about half an hour of debate I cast Sonic as Luke and laughed at the thought of Luke being awesome. Then the doodles began of AWESOME Luke, and soon after I caved in to the urge to actually write what I'd originally been daydreaming about.
So now everything I'm doing revolves around fandom and parody. My voice acting, writing, and doodles.
I have learned something about myself though. I've learned that nostalgia plays a key role in my life. I learned this while browsing Overclocked Remix. Most of the songs on my MP3 player are either punk covers of old songs, or video game OSTs and remixes. I only listen to songs I've heard before. I have trouble getting into new music. I don't listen to the radio, and when it's on I tend to tune it out. When friends on Facebook post videos of their favorite bands I listen, but I don't feel any connection. Even ripping CDs for Mom I occasionally say, "You know, the rhythm, the melody, everything here is something I would like... but I don't."
Video games are the same way. If I play a new game in a series it feels... wrong. I couldn't get into Sonic Advance, and even Sonic Rush (which is now one of my favorite games) felt odd at first because I'm so used to playing the Genesis titles over and over until I play them by heart the way someone sings a song by heart. When people sing do they remember the words? When I sing the words just flow out. Come the second or third verse I have to remember the first line, but then the rest pours out naturally and I'm not even sure i know what I'm singing. That's how I play video games, and Sonic especially. Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack In Time came out recently. Now, when I got Tools of Destruction it had been a good few years since I played the previous games, and I'd only played through each of them once or twice. When CiT came out I decided to go through all of the games in order before I picked it up at the store. It'd been a long time since I played through the series, so I had nothing memorised, but when I saw things I recalled seeing them before, almost like deja vu. Once I started playing CiT things felt weird. There may be a few cosmetic differences, but every R&C game is pretty much the same. The thing that felt odd wasn't that the game was new, it was that I didn't remember it. I need things to be familiar. I don't respond well to change.
I might be getting a psychological evaluation soon. My therapist asked me last week if I'd ever had one. She felt terrible that she hadn't asked sooner. She also apologized a lot because she didn't want me to feel like there was something "wrong" with me. I know there's nothing "wrong," but I also know there's a whole lot keeping me from being "right," and I'd like to have a better understanding of what that is.
I played Commodore 64 last night for the first time in years. It felt great, even though I died without getting any farther in The Amazing Spider-Man than I have before (Drowning in dookie water.) Batman: The Caped Crusader is just as impossible as I remember, but a lot funnier ("You got the A Fried Egg.") I also suck at Kings of the Beach now, which was never the case before. My reaction time is completely shot. I'm thinking about hooking up my Genesis, even though most of the games I own I've been playing on PS2. The feel of a classic controller can't be emulated.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Ready? FIGHT!
"Is this for you?" the cashier said skeptically, looking at me out of the corner of his eye as he placed a copy of Scribblenauts into the plastic bag.
"Yes," I said with a nod and big smile on my face.
He shook his head. "I'm used to seeing people buying violent games. I don't even play. Games are too graphic for me. Pacman and Ms. Pacman. That's what I play. I can't handle much more than that."
His reaction amused me. Nobody expects a 6'3" 22 year-old fellow such as myself to purchase a game featuring a little boy with a weird rooster hat on the cover. I also thought it was funny he actually commented on my purchase. Last time I went to that store I was buying Repo: The Genetic Opera and the animated Wonder Woman movie, and nobody said anything about my double feature selection.
As I left the store I started thinking about my choice in game selection. I grew up with a Sega Genesis and Sonic The Hedgehog. The most violent game I'd ever played up until then was Batman for the Commodore 64. If you open up the box in my closet where my Genesis games reside you will pull out a mascot based platformer. Back in the day, that was the most popular genre. Everything from Lion King to Earthworm Jim fell in that category. Most of my PlayStation and PS2 games are also platformers like Crash Bandicoot and Ape Escape. To this day I still prefer to play games like Ratchet & Clank and Super Mario Galaxy, but when you look at my wish list it's quite obvious my tastes have changed. Fallout 3, Assassin's Creed, No More Heroes 2, BlazBlu. Fighting games, shooters, they're all there. I suck at fighting games, and I don't even particularly like shooters, but I will admit there's nothing more romantic than curling up on the couch with your girl and fragging Chimera Hybrids with an Auger. It's just odd bouncing between Resistance: Fall of Man and Boom Blox Bash Party on the Wii.
When did my tastes change? Not that they've changed much, because I still play "kiddy" games. I always hated violence. Bloodshed made me nauseous. I don't believe in guns (they exist only IN YOUR MIND.) I think some of the blame can be placed on Marvel VS Capcom 2 for the Dreamcast. That was my fist fighting game. There was something oddly satisfying in beating the snot out of Akuma, Megaman, or Gambit without having any real reason to do so. It was kinetic and unpredictable. Unlike other games full of goomba stomping and crate bashing there was no opportunity to relax. It was you versus a Sentinal, Zangief, and a Servebot (most embarrassing loss ever. I managed to beat the two tanks only to fall before the menacing little Lego chef.) Instead of figuring out when to time your jumps and what order to flip switches, this was a true test of my skill as a gamer. It wasn't long after that I began my Stick Striker animation and started watching old black and white samurai movies. My interest in armed and unarmed combat was growing. I downloaded SNES roms of Street Fighter and Samurai Shodown. I still couldn't bring myself to play more graphic games like Mortal Kombat, but I'm more likely to test my might now.
I'm gonna sit back on the couch and pit God against an atheist in Scribblenauts to see what happens.
"Yes," I said with a nod and big smile on my face.
He shook his head. "I'm used to seeing people buying violent games. I don't even play. Games are too graphic for me. Pacman and Ms. Pacman. That's what I play. I can't handle much more than that."
His reaction amused me. Nobody expects a 6'3" 22 year-old fellow such as myself to purchase a game featuring a little boy with a weird rooster hat on the cover. I also thought it was funny he actually commented on my purchase. Last time I went to that store I was buying Repo: The Genetic Opera and the animated Wonder Woman movie, and nobody said anything about my double feature selection.
As I left the store I started thinking about my choice in game selection. I grew up with a Sega Genesis and Sonic The Hedgehog. The most violent game I'd ever played up until then was Batman for the Commodore 64. If you open up the box in my closet where my Genesis games reside you will pull out a mascot based platformer. Back in the day, that was the most popular genre. Everything from Lion King to Earthworm Jim fell in that category. Most of my PlayStation and PS2 games are also platformers like Crash Bandicoot and Ape Escape. To this day I still prefer to play games like Ratchet & Clank and Super Mario Galaxy, but when you look at my wish list it's quite obvious my tastes have changed. Fallout 3, Assassin's Creed, No More Heroes 2, BlazBlu. Fighting games, shooters, they're all there. I suck at fighting games, and I don't even particularly like shooters, but I will admit there's nothing more romantic than curling up on the couch with your girl and fragging Chimera Hybrids with an Auger. It's just odd bouncing between Resistance: Fall of Man and Boom Blox Bash Party on the Wii.
When did my tastes change? Not that they've changed much, because I still play "kiddy" games. I always hated violence. Bloodshed made me nauseous. I don't believe in guns (they exist only IN YOUR MIND.) I think some of the blame can be placed on Marvel VS Capcom 2 for the Dreamcast. That was my fist fighting game. There was something oddly satisfying in beating the snot out of Akuma, Megaman, or Gambit without having any real reason to do so. It was kinetic and unpredictable. Unlike other games full of goomba stomping and crate bashing there was no opportunity to relax. It was you versus a Sentinal, Zangief, and a Servebot (most embarrassing loss ever. I managed to beat the two tanks only to fall before the menacing little Lego chef.) Instead of figuring out when to time your jumps and what order to flip switches, this was a true test of my skill as a gamer. It wasn't long after that I began my Stick Striker animation and started watching old black and white samurai movies. My interest in armed and unarmed combat was growing. I downloaded SNES roms of Street Fighter and Samurai Shodown. I still couldn't bring myself to play more graphic games like Mortal Kombat, but I'm more likely to test my might now.
I'm gonna sit back on the couch and pit God against an atheist in Scribblenauts to see what happens.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
"It was Fate, in the radio station, with the ironic twist."
In this installment of Lord Veltha VS Fate, we would like to recap for you last week's spectacular confrontation between the two forces of personification, but before we do that let's head to Tom at the sports desk for a brief look at the last month's activities to explain why this was such a crucial battle in the epic struggle between the two titans. Tom?
"Thank you, my lord. You're looking great as ever, Sir."
It must be hard to sit at the sports desk with your head up your ass, Tom. You could easily be replaced.
"Apologies my lord. Well, Veltha fans, it's been a long month for the team. After last month's spectacular victory with The Astonishing Dude Episode 1: Art Critical, they decided to make it two for two with episode two, but things did not go smoothly. Trouble started when, due to confusion and scheduling conflicts, some members of the cast were unable to arrive at the recording session on time. After a brief loss of composure..."
You can go ahead and skip that part. This blog is about optimism.
"Despite certain... complications... and beginning the recording session half an hour late rather than getting in there and recording scenes that did not feature the temporarily misplaced cast members whom were but victims of the dark lord's shoddy scheduling abilities..."
Think of your family, Tom.
"... it's kind of hard to..."
You can do it, Tom. I have faith in you. So does your wife and children.
"... the... um... session was slightly hurried, particularly during the end of the session, but the only casualty was one line of dialog that could be recorded remotely later on in the week, and the unfortunate choice to record dialog with the background walla rather than recording them separately so that it would be easier to manipulate the two on separate tracks. Regardless, the afternoon was perceived as a victory.
"Then came the long and laborious editing process which the lord, in his need for control and perfection, took on by himself as Lucifer took on the task of corrupting mankind in Paradise Lost..."
Good analogy.
"After working morning 'til night on his laptop (which was miraculously able to keep up with Lord Veltha's pace despite having a history of overheating and breaking down) for about a week with only one day to rest, the day came when it was time to report for DJ duty at WSU's KOUG Radio station. There had been no time to prepare for that week's show as he had been busy fussing over The Astonishing Dude. Fortunately, one of his comrades came with a copy of the "Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus" board game and the team was able to kill most of the time answering questions about their sex lives. It was thought that disaster had been averted, but when it came time for them to leave the unthinkable happened.
"Somehow, the station's automated playlist ceased functioning. Having been on edge for most of the program..."
But masking it fairly well.
"Once things took a turn for the worst Lord Veltha's anxiety became barely manageable. It was then as he watched over his engineer's shoulder to understand what the problem was that one of his comrades prodded him playfully in the back. Determined to prevent his friends from knowing about the full extent of his unstable mental state, and doing everything he could to prevent them from ever seeing him in a 'freaked out' state for fear that they might begin to treat him differently, he had neglected to inform them that physical contact in a time of anxiety had grave circumstances. In a tiny room packed with people, during a time of perceived crisis and great claustrophobia, Lord Veltha was able to resist falling into a wrathful state by utilising his new found mental powers. He, in his benign greatness, rather than causing the entire building to explode, was able to simply turn around and say to his friend, 'Let's not do that right now' with a next to pleasant smile on his face. Ironically, his friends responded by attempting to console him with a pat on the back.
"The crisis however, had not been averted. Dead air was all the audience was hearing, and dead air was then enemy. Something had to be done while the system was brought back online, and it was up to Lord Veltha himself to address the audience and stall for time. Again, rage and despair made a claim for the dark lord's soul, but with a duty to fulfill it was immediately cast aside and his persona was that of a radio announcer yet again, completely in control of his emotions by being completely focused on the task at hand. The alternative to doing a job well done was unacceptable. Once the system was reactivate and they were able to call it a day, Lord Veltha immediately fled from the station and took refuge in the bathroom that smells like Jell-O, rocking back and forth in the fetal position as he attempted to reacquire his nerve and wit before facing his allies again."
I was out getting lunch. You didn't say anything that would compromise my position as an evil overlord, did you?
"No, Sir."
Good. I mean, I know I told you to keep it brief, but I decided to take advantage of your long winded depictions of my awesomeness in order to obtain a sandwich. Would you like some?
"No thank you, my lord."
Okie doke. Carry on.
"After that harrowing struggle it was back to work for the master. With only a week left before the episode aired and only half of the show completed he would have to channel all of his energy into completing the show. Every track of dialog had to have the volume balanced out, many of the sound clips required various plug-ins that modulated the voices, legally obtainable free sound effects were difficult to come by, but with one full day to spare Episode 2 of The Astonishing Dude had been completed. That day was well spent, and a private viewing with friends and family was arranged.
Ow!
"A-are you alright, Sir?"
I juth bit my thung. Don' thop. Juth keep thelling the thory.
"As you wish, Sir.
"The next day everything appeared to be going well, but Lord Veltha in his mysterious wisdom could sense that something was wrong. Knowing full well that success was on the horizon he shrugged off his discomfort and was escorted to the station. It was then, approximately half-way through the episode, that the laptop that had survived for weeks during the editing process suddenly shut down for good. The computer could not be repaired, and it held the only available copy of the show. Thankfully his trusty engineer thought quickly on his feat and began playing music while Lord Veltha sought out a means of getting the show back on the air."
"A month of stress and little sleep had finally caught up, weakening the overlord. As he attempted to relay instructions to deliver his external hard drive to the station the darkness inside him began to seep out into the world. Frantic and hopeless, it took all of his remaining strength to hold himself up in front of his ninja lieutenant. Wanting nothing more than to run away from his responsibilities and give up on the whole thing..."
Alright alright. I'm sick of hearing you talk.
"But..."
You can go home now.
"But... what about my family?"
Oh yeah... them. I don't remember what I did with them.
"But I...!"
Just go home. If I find them laying around somewhere I'll mail them to you. Now leave before I rip out your spine and beat you with it.
"Oh... alright..."
Today's not a pleasant day. I haven't slept in, like... well I haven't slept. I can't focus. I still need to mow the lawn. Anyway, after nearly breaking down I managed to focus myself in much the same way I did the previous week. There was a job to be done. It wasn't going to get done if I was freaking out. If all I was good for was giving up and crying like a freaking baby then the best thing I could do was not be myself and do it well. I gave up on TAD and ran back to the station (I had done a lot of running. First I started running to the parking lot with my ninja chauffeur, then I decided to call my mom, then I freaked out and gave up.) Once back inside I took the station by the reigns and we ended up doing what I consider to be the best show we've ever done. Hopefully we can archive it online soon, but we'll need to get it onto someone else's computer since mine is DEEEEAAAAAD!
Hopefully this Friday my external hard drive will work and we can air the show again, this time ALL the way through. The right after that is Kumoricon, which unfortunately I know nothing about since I've never gone before, have been too busy to research it, and every time I try to focus on anything I start breaking down again. I've been pushing myself much too hard. It's terrible, because if I can't keep up with these shows how will I ever be able to achieve my other goals? I understand I'm fairly new to the world. I haven't had a whole lot of experience in reality. My body and mind aren't conditioned for the labor I'm forcing myself to do. Eventually my power will grow, but I mustn't be hasty. Everything will come in time. Impatience has lead to the downfall of many overlords. I must learn from the mistakes of my predecessors. I must accept myself for who I am, and hope that others are able to do the same. I don't believe I give my friends enough credit. I obviously have been failing to hide from them, and yet it doesn't phase them in the least. Considering the way things have been going, K-Con is certain to be an adventure.
What could possibly go wrong?
"Thank you, my lord. You're looking great as ever, Sir."
It must be hard to sit at the sports desk with your head up your ass, Tom. You could easily be replaced.
"Apologies my lord. Well, Veltha fans, it's been a long month for the team. After last month's spectacular victory with The Astonishing Dude Episode 1: Art Critical, they decided to make it two for two with episode two, but things did not go smoothly. Trouble started when, due to confusion and scheduling conflicts, some members of the cast were unable to arrive at the recording session on time. After a brief loss of composure..."
You can go ahead and skip that part. This blog is about optimism.
"Despite certain... complications... and beginning the recording session half an hour late rather than getting in there and recording scenes that did not feature the temporarily misplaced cast members whom were but victims of the dark lord's shoddy scheduling abilities..."
Think of your family, Tom.
"... it's kind of hard to..."
You can do it, Tom. I have faith in you. So does your wife and children.
"... the... um... session was slightly hurried, particularly during the end of the session, but the only casualty was one line of dialog that could be recorded remotely later on in the week, and the unfortunate choice to record dialog with the background walla rather than recording them separately so that it would be easier to manipulate the two on separate tracks. Regardless, the afternoon was perceived as a victory.
"Then came the long and laborious editing process which the lord, in his need for control and perfection, took on by himself as Lucifer took on the task of corrupting mankind in Paradise Lost..."
Good analogy.
"After working morning 'til night on his laptop (which was miraculously able to keep up with Lord Veltha's pace despite having a history of overheating and breaking down) for about a week with only one day to rest, the day came when it was time to report for DJ duty at WSU's KOUG Radio station. There had been no time to prepare for that week's show as he had been busy fussing over The Astonishing Dude. Fortunately, one of his comrades came with a copy of the "Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus" board game and the team was able to kill most of the time answering questions about their sex lives. It was thought that disaster had been averted, but when it came time for them to leave the unthinkable happened.
"Somehow, the station's automated playlist ceased functioning. Having been on edge for most of the program..."
But masking it fairly well.
"Once things took a turn for the worst Lord Veltha's anxiety became barely manageable. It was then as he watched over his engineer's shoulder to understand what the problem was that one of his comrades prodded him playfully in the back. Determined to prevent his friends from knowing about the full extent of his unstable mental state, and doing everything he could to prevent them from ever seeing him in a 'freaked out' state for fear that they might begin to treat him differently, he had neglected to inform them that physical contact in a time of anxiety had grave circumstances. In a tiny room packed with people, during a time of perceived crisis and great claustrophobia, Lord Veltha was able to resist falling into a wrathful state by utilising his new found mental powers. He, in his benign greatness, rather than causing the entire building to explode, was able to simply turn around and say to his friend, 'Let's not do that right now' with a next to pleasant smile on his face. Ironically, his friends responded by attempting to console him with a pat on the back.
"The crisis however, had not been averted. Dead air was all the audience was hearing, and dead air was then enemy. Something had to be done while the system was brought back online, and it was up to Lord Veltha himself to address the audience and stall for time. Again, rage and despair made a claim for the dark lord's soul, but with a duty to fulfill it was immediately cast aside and his persona was that of a radio announcer yet again, completely in control of his emotions by being completely focused on the task at hand. The alternative to doing a job well done was unacceptable. Once the system was reactivate and they were able to call it a day, Lord Veltha immediately fled from the station and took refuge in the bathroom that smells like Jell-O, rocking back and forth in the fetal position as he attempted to reacquire his nerve and wit before facing his allies again."
I was out getting lunch. You didn't say anything that would compromise my position as an evil overlord, did you?
"No, Sir."
Good. I mean, I know I told you to keep it brief, but I decided to take advantage of your long winded depictions of my awesomeness in order to obtain a sandwich. Would you like some?
"No thank you, my lord."
Okie doke. Carry on.
"After that harrowing struggle it was back to work for the master. With only a week left before the episode aired and only half of the show completed he would have to channel all of his energy into completing the show. Every track of dialog had to have the volume balanced out, many of the sound clips required various plug-ins that modulated the voices, legally obtainable free sound effects were difficult to come by, but with one full day to spare Episode 2 of The Astonishing Dude had been completed. That day was well spent, and a private viewing with friends and family was arranged.
Ow!
"A-are you alright, Sir?"
I juth bit my thung. Don' thop. Juth keep thelling the thory.
"As you wish, Sir.
"The next day everything appeared to be going well, but Lord Veltha in his mysterious wisdom could sense that something was wrong. Knowing full well that success was on the horizon he shrugged off his discomfort and was escorted to the station. It was then, approximately half-way through the episode, that the laptop that had survived for weeks during the editing process suddenly shut down for good. The computer could not be repaired, and it held the only available copy of the show. Thankfully his trusty engineer thought quickly on his feat and began playing music while Lord Veltha sought out a means of getting the show back on the air."
"A month of stress and little sleep had finally caught up, weakening the overlord. As he attempted to relay instructions to deliver his external hard drive to the station the darkness inside him began to seep out into the world. Frantic and hopeless, it took all of his remaining strength to hold himself up in front of his ninja lieutenant. Wanting nothing more than to run away from his responsibilities and give up on the whole thing..."
Alright alright. I'm sick of hearing you talk.
"But..."
You can go home now.
"But... what about my family?"
Oh yeah... them. I don't remember what I did with them.
"But I...!"
Just go home. If I find them laying around somewhere I'll mail them to you. Now leave before I rip out your spine and beat you with it.
"Oh... alright..."
Today's not a pleasant day. I haven't slept in, like... well I haven't slept. I can't focus. I still need to mow the lawn. Anyway, after nearly breaking down I managed to focus myself in much the same way I did the previous week. There was a job to be done. It wasn't going to get done if I was freaking out. If all I was good for was giving up and crying like a freaking baby then the best thing I could do was not be myself and do it well. I gave up on TAD and ran back to the station (I had done a lot of running. First I started running to the parking lot with my ninja chauffeur, then I decided to call my mom, then I freaked out and gave up.) Once back inside I took the station by the reigns and we ended up doing what I consider to be the best show we've ever done. Hopefully we can archive it online soon, but we'll need to get it onto someone else's computer since mine is DEEEEAAAAAD!
Hopefully this Friday my external hard drive will work and we can air the show again, this time ALL the way through. The right after that is Kumoricon, which unfortunately I know nothing about since I've never gone before, have been too busy to research it, and every time I try to focus on anything I start breaking down again. I've been pushing myself much too hard. It's terrible, because if I can't keep up with these shows how will I ever be able to achieve my other goals? I understand I'm fairly new to the world. I haven't had a whole lot of experience in reality. My body and mind aren't conditioned for the labor I'm forcing myself to do. Eventually my power will grow, but I mustn't be hasty. Everything will come in time. Impatience has lead to the downfall of many overlords. I must learn from the mistakes of my predecessors. I must accept myself for who I am, and hope that others are able to do the same. I don't believe I give my friends enough credit. I obviously have been failing to hide from them, and yet it doesn't phase them in the least. Considering the way things have been going, K-Con is certain to be an adventure.
What could possibly go wrong?
Monday, August 10, 2009
"If I'm going to be concious at ungodly hours, I may as well stream it."
I feel drunker than a wombat on a goat song could you pass the relish my grandma can't take much more or this is the end of the line Mr. Jones, Mr. Peanut, Mr. Rogers, Mr. T, Mr. Ed couldn't sing tenor to save his lives are one hundred coins each would you like a bag for that or would you like to wear it home Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band camp and brothel with peas and carrots mixed in a special cream cheese sauce.
Welcome one and all to the Scrap Brain Zone portion of our show where we're so REM sleep deprived we begin to emulate the effects of intoxication. Day one we're sluggish, 2nd day we're cranky, third day we zombie out, and on the 4th day we have violent mood swings. By the end of the fourth this is what happens. My pants are enormous could I borrow yours? Someday we'll laugh at the 101 uses for fish sticks all mattresses must go! This is what happens. The middle changes from time to time, but the end is always the same.
1. "I'll be okay."
2. "Calm down. There's nothing to worry about."
3. "Oh god I need to sleep tonight. I need to sleep. I can't do this again."
4. "My pancreas spoke to me though my hand and it's not pleased with the progress we're making on the waffles John Deer would eat our skin through a bucket sized spaghetti strainer on a Saturday night fever pitch!"
So much to do so much to do. Try to go with the flow. On bad days I stop and let it be bad. Cancel plans. Apologize the next day. Bad day bad day. Violence, rage and anger mustn't be seen mustn't be seen. What would the henchmen think? Don't sweat it champ it happens to the best of us from time to time just don't let the porcupines bear witness or it will come back to bite you in the checkbook. I proposed to a car after my girlfriend kicked me to the curb when I sang a love song on the way home, then Freddy Kruger gave me an indian burn in front of Santa Claus and made baby Jesus cry. Baby Jesus: from the company that brought you Tickle-Me-Judas and Bathtime Fun Moses! Can't keep a beat but still keep rockin'! Toilet seat allergies are worse in the autumn. So much to do. I keep trying. I mustn't give up. Move on and perservere through madness. Infinite improbability overload quick strangle the gopher before it makes off with my Cheetos.
How long can I go on like this? It won't shut off. So much to do so much to do busy busy busy. I don't know what I'm doing. I never know. I keep trying. All surpass me. Why do I fight? What am I good at? I can't do enough. It'll never be enough. My envy of others is my downfall. I feel shame for my insecurity. Garden biscuits for breakfast Tuesday though Saturday at Weasel Land Family Fun Park. Marmots get in free! How can what I do be enough? So many dreams. None can be achieved. Keep trying. Keep trying. Reach for the stars no matter how much your arm hurts when it cramps up from the irony. Sing me oh muse a tale of woe. Of dichord and chaos long long ago. There once was a man, a milliner of lies, who chuckled and chortled at everyone's guise. I cannot go on, but I know that I must. Come with me now or else fade into dust.
Don't raffle at the gun show sink like a ship in the sand drink and be merry don't let it eat you strive for your life and let manniquins weep.
Can I try to keep going? Don't know if I'll stop. I just want to live all of my lives and share them with the world. I know many good people that on one else does. I want to invite them to join in the fun. They will make people laugh and hopefully cry, and all mourn their loss when they finally die.
I'm still trying. Please help me succeed.
In hindsight, stream of conciousness writing may not be the best way to fall asleep. It used to work. If my mind wouldn't shut off I'd let it flow like this onto a piece of paper, and once all of the nonsense was absorbed I could put it aside and go to sleep. Now the flow doesn't always end. I stop when I get tired or bored, but my mind is still going. I usually post this crap where I collect my thoughts in order to figure out how my mind works, but for some reason this time around I was compelled to share it here. It's funny how it begins with babbling, then I go on to explain why I'm in my peculiar mental state, and somewhere in there near then end I begin to get whiny. I also talk about allowing bad days to be bad, but I never talk about allowing good days to be good, or explain what a bad day is and how allowing it to be bad is my way of making it good. That's probably because none of that makes sense and I hate explaining things. I don't like forcing myself to think. I've long lost the ability to do so, and now I must simply be. Stream of conciousness writing is the fullest extension of "simply being." It is not something that you do. It is something you allow yourself to do.
This is the most pathetic entry I've posted in quite some time. This is not what this blog is for. This blog is about sharing my triumphs.
Maybe tomorrow.
Welcome one and all to the Scrap Brain Zone portion of our show where we're so REM sleep deprived we begin to emulate the effects of intoxication. Day one we're sluggish, 2nd day we're cranky, third day we zombie out, and on the 4th day we have violent mood swings. By the end of the fourth this is what happens. My pants are enormous could I borrow yours? Someday we'll laugh at the 101 uses for fish sticks all mattresses must go! This is what happens. The middle changes from time to time, but the end is always the same.
1. "I'll be okay."
2. "Calm down. There's nothing to worry about."
3. "Oh god I need to sleep tonight. I need to sleep. I can't do this again."
4. "My pancreas spoke to me though my hand and it's not pleased with the progress we're making on the waffles John Deer would eat our skin through a bucket sized spaghetti strainer on a Saturday night fever pitch!"
So much to do so much to do. Try to go with the flow. On bad days I stop and let it be bad. Cancel plans. Apologize the next day. Bad day bad day. Violence, rage and anger mustn't be seen mustn't be seen. What would the henchmen think? Don't sweat it champ it happens to the best of us from time to time just don't let the porcupines bear witness or it will come back to bite you in the checkbook. I proposed to a car after my girlfriend kicked me to the curb when I sang a love song on the way home, then Freddy Kruger gave me an indian burn in front of Santa Claus and made baby Jesus cry. Baby Jesus: from the company that brought you Tickle-Me-Judas and Bathtime Fun Moses! Can't keep a beat but still keep rockin'! Toilet seat allergies are worse in the autumn. So much to do. I keep trying. I mustn't give up. Move on and perservere through madness. Infinite improbability overload quick strangle the gopher before it makes off with my Cheetos.
How long can I go on like this? It won't shut off. So much to do so much to do busy busy busy. I don't know what I'm doing. I never know. I keep trying. All surpass me. Why do I fight? What am I good at? I can't do enough. It'll never be enough. My envy of others is my downfall. I feel shame for my insecurity. Garden biscuits for breakfast Tuesday though Saturday at Weasel Land Family Fun Park. Marmots get in free! How can what I do be enough? So many dreams. None can be achieved. Keep trying. Keep trying. Reach for the stars no matter how much your arm hurts when it cramps up from the irony. Sing me oh muse a tale of woe. Of dichord and chaos long long ago. There once was a man, a milliner of lies, who chuckled and chortled at everyone's guise. I cannot go on, but I know that I must. Come with me now or else fade into dust.
Don't raffle at the gun show sink like a ship in the sand drink and be merry don't let it eat you strive for your life and let manniquins weep.
Can I try to keep going? Don't know if I'll stop. I just want to live all of my lives and share them with the world. I know many good people that on one else does. I want to invite them to join in the fun. They will make people laugh and hopefully cry, and all mourn their loss when they finally die.
I'm still trying. Please help me succeed.
In hindsight, stream of conciousness writing may not be the best way to fall asleep. It used to work. If my mind wouldn't shut off I'd let it flow like this onto a piece of paper, and once all of the nonsense was absorbed I could put it aside and go to sleep. Now the flow doesn't always end. I stop when I get tired or bored, but my mind is still going. I usually post this crap where I collect my thoughts in order to figure out how my mind works, but for some reason this time around I was compelled to share it here. It's funny how it begins with babbling, then I go on to explain why I'm in my peculiar mental state, and somewhere in there near then end I begin to get whiny. I also talk about allowing bad days to be bad, but I never talk about allowing good days to be good, or explain what a bad day is and how allowing it to be bad is my way of making it good. That's probably because none of that makes sense and I hate explaining things. I don't like forcing myself to think. I've long lost the ability to do so, and now I must simply be. Stream of conciousness writing is the fullest extension of "simply being." It is not something that you do. It is something you allow yourself to do.
This is the most pathetic entry I've posted in quite some time. This is not what this blog is for. This blog is about sharing my triumphs.
Maybe tomorrow.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Treads on the Battle Tank Keep Spinning
Behold! Episode 1 of The Astonishing Dude (now referred to as TAD for short, 'cause I like that better then AD, and yes these things are important to me and you can't take away my freedom stop trying to control my life leave me alone I'm not hungry I'm going to my room and I'm never coming back OMG sugar rush!) has been completed!
All goes according to plan. As per standard production procedure I worked on that sucker 'til it was time to head out the door and abuse the auditory canals of those fortunate enough to hear our masterwork. Keeping the volume consistent throughout the piece was the biggest difficulty I had. No, finding sound effects was, but the volume came a close second (which reminds me that I need to do some more sound hunting if I'm going to pull off the upcoming commercial breaks. I should delegate this task to someone else. Any volunteers? Who wants to find me a bowling ball, a toaster, an agitated hamster, and an aerosol can full of doughnut batter? Think of it as a scavenger hunt.) The great thing is that no matter how many times I listened to this thing it never got boring. Animation gets old fast. Granted, it takes a hell of a lot longer too. This show though... this show is astonishing through and through. My only disappointment is that we didn't have the recorder going when we did our live cast commentary. Sad day. (I know most of what I said, so I could record my own commentary... but I think blogging is the full extent I'm willing to take my ego. It just wouldn't be the same without my outstanding comrades anyway.)
And Episode 2 is officially underway! Armed with previous experience, our intrepid hero (overlord) ventures not into the unknown wilderness of radio play production, but into the familiar lake of tepid and not on the whole unpleasant work that is exhausting, time consuming, but ultimately rewarding. The challenge this month will be to effectively emulate a panic stricken mob of limbless civilians, an overzealous arena of bloodsport fanatics, learn how to apply voice modulation in order to make my actors sound alien but understandable (I cannot understand most alien voices due to their modulation. The Vogons in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series especially, and most recently Emperor Tachyon's voice in Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction.) and play not one but TWO characters that are much too intense for my stomach to handle. I started getting sick during a run through of the script. I should be fine if I have lots of water handy. The show... must... go on... gasp... *MELODRAMATIC DEATH!*
I am also serving as Director Assistant/Script Master/Nagging Asshole in a film production called Nightbumpers. So far I've only screwed up once, if not twice, and all on our first day of shooting! The first error was when I started doing my job before the cinematographers said cut, and the second was when I might have been in the shot when the camera person did a pan of the set for extra coverage. I'm looking forward to the next day of shooting. I've never been a part of something like this. At the art school I was an animator, and wasn't involved in anything that required actual filming. I did write one screenplay and was there for shooting, but I dunno... that was different. I don't get that awkward feeling that I don't belong there though, which is good and quite surprising. I got a little nervous when I had to actually, you know, do my job, but I think that went alright. (I still need a copy of the script. I don't think I can keep hoarding the Director's. I may also bring some blue masking tape and a dry erase marker for the sake of taking blue masking tape and a dry erase marker.)
I'm working on learning to draw. Oddly, whenever I try to draw the way I'm taught I fail. I can't get beyond the two-dimensional wire frame model I've created. It should be a simple matter of cleaning up lines, really no different from my normal process, but something feels wrong. Winging it seems to be providing better and better results. Characters aren't especially detailed, there's no shading, texture, or color to speak of. Hands, feet, and faces continue to be my eternal adversaries. On the positive side, I have two tolerable sketches of myself: the infamous Lord Veltha. Other more pressing matters have taken time away from my pencil practice, but I feel that with the progress I've been making it will only be a few years until I become what artists refer to as "okay."
The world is in my hands. It's only a matter of time.
(And if you haven't already, check out www.imeem.com/astonishingdude for great justice!)
All goes according to plan. As per standard production procedure I worked on that sucker 'til it was time to head out the door and abuse the auditory canals of those fortunate enough to hear our masterwork. Keeping the volume consistent throughout the piece was the biggest difficulty I had. No, finding sound effects was, but the volume came a close second (which reminds me that I need to do some more sound hunting if I'm going to pull off the upcoming commercial breaks. I should delegate this task to someone else. Any volunteers? Who wants to find me a bowling ball, a toaster, an agitated hamster, and an aerosol can full of doughnut batter? Think of it as a scavenger hunt.) The great thing is that no matter how many times I listened to this thing it never got boring. Animation gets old fast. Granted, it takes a hell of a lot longer too. This show though... this show is astonishing through and through. My only disappointment is that we didn't have the recorder going when we did our live cast commentary. Sad day. (I know most of what I said, so I could record my own commentary... but I think blogging is the full extent I'm willing to take my ego. It just wouldn't be the same without my outstanding comrades anyway.)
And Episode 2 is officially underway! Armed with previous experience, our intrepid hero (overlord) ventures not into the unknown wilderness of radio play production, but into the familiar lake of tepid and not on the whole unpleasant work that is exhausting, time consuming, but ultimately rewarding. The challenge this month will be to effectively emulate a panic stricken mob of limbless civilians, an overzealous arena of bloodsport fanatics, learn how to apply voice modulation in order to make my actors sound alien but understandable (I cannot understand most alien voices due to their modulation. The Vogons in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio series especially, and most recently Emperor Tachyon's voice in Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction.) and play not one but TWO characters that are much too intense for my stomach to handle. I started getting sick during a run through of the script. I should be fine if I have lots of water handy. The show... must... go on... gasp... *MELODRAMATIC DEATH!*
I am also serving as Director Assistant/Script Master/Nagging Asshole in a film production called Nightbumpers. So far I've only screwed up once, if not twice, and all on our first day of shooting! The first error was when I started doing my job before the cinematographers said cut, and the second was when I might have been in the shot when the camera person did a pan of the set for extra coverage. I'm looking forward to the next day of shooting. I've never been a part of something like this. At the art school I was an animator, and wasn't involved in anything that required actual filming. I did write one screenplay and was there for shooting, but I dunno... that was different. I don't get that awkward feeling that I don't belong there though, which is good and quite surprising. I got a little nervous when I had to actually, you know, do my job, but I think that went alright. (I still need a copy of the script. I don't think I can keep hoarding the Director's. I may also bring some blue masking tape and a dry erase marker for the sake of taking blue masking tape and a dry erase marker.)
I'm working on learning to draw. Oddly, whenever I try to draw the way I'm taught I fail. I can't get beyond the two-dimensional wire frame model I've created. It should be a simple matter of cleaning up lines, really no different from my normal process, but something feels wrong. Winging it seems to be providing better and better results. Characters aren't especially detailed, there's no shading, texture, or color to speak of. Hands, feet, and faces continue to be my eternal adversaries. On the positive side, I have two tolerable sketches of myself: the infamous Lord Veltha. Other more pressing matters have taken time away from my pencil practice, but I feel that with the progress I've been making it will only be a few years until I become what artists refer to as "okay."
The world is in my hands. It's only a matter of time.
(And if you haven't already, check out www.imeem.com/astonishingdude for great justice!)
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