Operation: ASTONISHMENT!

I apologize for the extensive duration of time between my previous post and this one that I am now 36 vowels into (I think... each time I count the number changes. However, as I am infallible, every number I count to is the correct number of vowels that I count. How's that for logic?)

I am in the midst of a delicate operation. If THIS plan succeeds I will be one step closer to being one step closer to commencing my diabolical MASTER plan of global domination. But, before I go any further, I'll go ahead and start with the stuff people may care about (then I will ramble to my heart's content.)

Alright, so... after I learn how to properly operate my shiny new (and free) audio editing software, I will need to assemble some actors. I can record directly to my laptop, so I'll be able to record people at their convenience, and not have to arrange it so everyone has to gather together in one spot at a certain time. I've got a big long list of characters, so here are a few.

The Astonishing Dude: Stalwart defender of justice and title character.
Announcers: Need deep voiced radio announcer for episode intros and such, as well as intense energy-drink spokesperson, infomercial guy, and sweet lady varieties for commercial breaks.
Dr. Hands: Malevolent mustache-twirler and master of hand-to-hand combat. Forced to turn to crime due to the economic recession, and the need to purchase specialized ambidextrous tools.
Wrench Wench: The Astonishing Dude's sultry mechanic and on-again-off again romantic sub-plot (Although I have yet to see it set to "on".) Cursed by a gypsy to speak in innuendo (Which is surprisingly hard for me to write.)
Krognolon: Champion gladiator of Strugglesphere Four. Big brutish alien guy.
Nuboss: Alien pilot from Strugglesphere with the disposition of a frustrated shift manager at Kinkos.
Frigidaire-Devil: Obligatory ice-themed villain.
John Long the Thermal-Man: Equally obligatory fire-themed villain.
Swing Swordsman: 1920-30's inspired fencer. (The bee's knees, baby. Berries.)
The Shroud: Irritatingly mysterious villain. Melodramatic, and nobody really knows what he does, but it's probably evil... or is it?
Mother: Generic loving mother figure for commercials. The more Joan Cleavery the better.
Timmy: Equally generic little boy-type thing.
Little Girls: Blah blah blah...
TB Tabby Doll: Talking doll with tuberculosis. (Made in Taiwan!)
Jingle Singers: People who sing jingles. So far the only jingle I've written is for Dunky Cream Donuts... and I can't get it out of my head...
Incidentals and Background Characters: People just hangin' out and doin' stuff, whether it be exchanging ring tones, cheering wildly at off-world sporting events, or being violently evicerated. Not to mention the obligatory, "Look! Up in the sky!" dialog that should be expected of something like this.

I have, over the course of the first three episodes, at least 32 roles that need to be filled. The first episode alone has 13 characters. Actors will probably have to fill multiple roles, which shouldn't be too hard. Most of the characters are just incidental/background people that have maybe one line of screaming while their arms are getting ripped off. All in all, it sounds like there's more to this than there really is, but it also means I'll need a wide array of talent. Everything from dramatic announcers, to mothers and children, to semi-sinister villains, to demonic alien gladiators. I've even got a brief scene with zombie cows. ZOMBIE COWS!

Initially, phase 1 of this dastardly scheme consisted of writing as many radio scripts as I could manage so that once we begin broadcasting and I have less time to actually prepare nigh-intelligible dialog, there will be one less thing to rush through production. Perhaps I am falling into the old villainous cliche of impatiently reducing the preparation time and jumping right into the cool stuff with explosions and princess-napping, but I feel that the time has come to begin recording the show. I have two scripts completed, and a third underway. If I am to succeed any further I must learn how to utilize my audio editing facilities. Not only that, but recording my actors will bolster their enthusiasm for this project, and global domination is all about making the people happy (I wouldn't want anyone attempting to overthrow me.)

If I do begin recording, it does not need to be broadcast right away. I'm not entirely certain what my time-line is like, but there's no sense in getting started until I'm certain the operation is safe to commence. I'd still like to get a couple more scripts written up before weekly due dates come into play. It's better to learn and make mistakes before you activate the doomsday weapon, otherwise the hero is certain to find his way into your castle and screw with your important shit. The hero in this case, as is the case for most of my schemes, is Murphy. Murphy's Law is the one law I am most eager to break in order to achieve my goals.

If all goes according to plan, and Murphy does not interfere, I should be ready to start recording by the end of next week (Note the emphasis on the should.) My last post was full of defeat and negativity. That shall not happen again. From now on it's only positive upbeat awe-inspiring awesomeness worthy of the infamous Lord Veltha! In fact, I am so confidant that this plan will suceed I think we need to make promotional posters! (All in due time...)

In other, less important Velthan news, I will be heading to the Vancouver Share House office tomorrow to assist with bulk mailing. I have also registered for Kumoricon 2009... and we'll see how that goes.

Pathos and good will.