In this installment of Lord Veltha VS Fate, we would like to recap for you last week's spectacular confrontation between the two forces of personification, but before we do that let's head to Tom at the sports desk for a brief look at the last month's activities to explain why this was such a crucial battle in the epic struggle between the two titans. Tom?
"Thank you, my lord. You're looking great as ever, Sir."
It must be hard to sit at the sports desk with your head up your ass, Tom. You could easily be replaced.
"Apologies my lord. Well, Veltha fans, it's been a long month for the team. After last month's spectacular victory with The Astonishing Dude Episode 1: Art Critical, they decided to make it two for two with episode two, but things did not go smoothly. Trouble started when, due to confusion and scheduling conflicts, some members of the cast were unable to arrive at the recording session on time. After a brief loss of composure..."
You can go ahead and skip that part. This blog is about optimism.
"Despite certain... complications... and beginning the recording session half an hour late rather than getting in there and recording scenes that did not feature the temporarily misplaced cast members whom were but victims of the dark lord's shoddy scheduling abilities..."
Think of your family, Tom.
"... it's kind of hard to..."
You can do it, Tom. I have faith in you. So does your wife and children.
"... the... um... session was slightly hurried, particularly during the end of the session, but the only casualty was one line of dialog that could be recorded remotely later on in the week, and the unfortunate choice to record dialog with the background walla rather than recording them separately so that it would be easier to manipulate the two on separate tracks. Regardless, the afternoon was perceived as a victory.
"Then came the long and laborious editing process which the lord, in his need for control and perfection, took on by himself as Lucifer took on the task of corrupting mankind in Paradise Lost..."
Good analogy.
"After working morning 'til night on his laptop (which was miraculously able to keep up with Lord Veltha's pace despite having a history of overheating and breaking down) for about a week with only one day to rest, the day came when it was time to report for DJ duty at WSU's KOUG Radio station. There had been no time to prepare for that week's show as he had been busy fussing over The Astonishing Dude. Fortunately, one of his comrades came with a copy of the "Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus" board game and the team was able to kill most of the time answering questions about their sex lives. It was thought that disaster had been averted, but when it came time for them to leave the unthinkable happened.
"Somehow, the station's automated playlist ceased functioning. Having been on edge for most of the program..."
But masking it fairly well.
"Once things took a turn for the worst Lord Veltha's anxiety became barely manageable. It was then as he watched over his engineer's shoulder to understand what the problem was that one of his comrades prodded him playfully in the back. Determined to prevent his friends from knowing about the full extent of his unstable mental state, and doing everything he could to prevent them from ever seeing him in a 'freaked out' state for fear that they might begin to treat him differently, he had neglected to inform them that physical contact in a time of anxiety had grave circumstances. In a tiny room packed with people, during a time of perceived crisis and great claustrophobia, Lord Veltha was able to resist falling into a wrathful state by utilising his new found mental powers. He, in his benign greatness, rather than causing the entire building to explode, was able to simply turn around and say to his friend, 'Let's not do that right now' with a next to pleasant smile on his face. Ironically, his friends responded by attempting to console him with a pat on the back.
"The crisis however, had not been averted. Dead air was all the audience was hearing, and dead air was then enemy. Something had to be done while the system was brought back online, and it was up to Lord Veltha himself to address the audience and stall for time. Again, rage and despair made a claim for the dark lord's soul, but with a duty to fulfill it was immediately cast aside and his persona was that of a radio announcer yet again, completely in control of his emotions by being completely focused on the task at hand. The alternative to doing a job well done was unacceptable. Once the system was reactivate and they were able to call it a day, Lord Veltha immediately fled from the station and took refuge in the bathroom that smells like Jell-O, rocking back and forth in the fetal position as he attempted to reacquire his nerve and wit before facing his allies again."
I was out getting lunch. You didn't say anything that would compromise my position as an evil overlord, did you?
"No, Sir."
Good. I mean, I know I told you to keep it brief, but I decided to take advantage of your long winded depictions of my awesomeness in order to obtain a sandwich. Would you like some?
"No thank you, my lord."
Okie doke. Carry on.
"After that harrowing struggle it was back to work for the master. With only a week left before the episode aired and only half of the show completed he would have to channel all of his energy into completing the show. Every track of dialog had to have the volume balanced out, many of the sound clips required various plug-ins that modulated the voices, legally obtainable free sound effects were difficult to come by, but with one full day to spare Episode 2 of The Astonishing Dude had been completed. That day was well spent, and a private viewing with friends and family was arranged.
Ow!
"A-are you alright, Sir?"
I juth bit my thung. Don' thop. Juth keep thelling the thory.
"As you wish, Sir.
"The next day everything appeared to be going well, but Lord Veltha in his mysterious wisdom could sense that something was wrong. Knowing full well that success was on the horizon he shrugged off his discomfort and was escorted to the station. It was then, approximately half-way through the episode, that the laptop that had survived for weeks during the editing process suddenly shut down for good. The computer could not be repaired, and it held the only available copy of the show. Thankfully his trusty engineer thought quickly on his feat and began playing music while Lord Veltha sought out a means of getting the show back on the air."
"A month of stress and little sleep had finally caught up, weakening the overlord. As he attempted to relay instructions to deliver his external hard drive to the station the darkness inside him began to seep out into the world. Frantic and hopeless, it took all of his remaining strength to hold himself up in front of his ninja lieutenant. Wanting nothing more than to run away from his responsibilities and give up on the whole thing..."
Alright alright. I'm sick of hearing you talk.
"But..."
You can go home now.
"But... what about my family?"
Oh yeah... them. I don't remember what I did with them.
"But I...!"
Just go home. If I find them laying around somewhere I'll mail them to you. Now leave before I rip out your spine and beat you with it.
"Oh... alright..."
Today's not a pleasant day. I haven't slept in, like... well I haven't slept. I can't focus. I still need to mow the lawn. Anyway, after nearly breaking down I managed to focus myself in much the same way I did the previous week. There was a job to be done. It wasn't going to get done if I was freaking out. If all I was good for was giving up and crying like a freaking baby then the best thing I could do was not be myself and do it well. I gave up on TAD and ran back to the station (I had done a lot of running. First I started running to the parking lot with my ninja chauffeur, then I decided to call my mom, then I freaked out and gave up.) Once back inside I took the station by the reigns and we ended up doing what I consider to be the best show we've ever done. Hopefully we can archive it online soon, but we'll need to get it onto someone else's computer since mine is DEEEEAAAAAD!
Hopefully this Friday my external hard drive will work and we can air the show again, this time ALL the way through. The right after that is Kumoricon, which unfortunately I know nothing about since I've never gone before, have been too busy to research it, and every time I try to focus on anything I start breaking down again. I've been pushing myself much too hard. It's terrible, because if I can't keep up with these shows how will I ever be able to achieve my other goals? I understand I'm fairly new to the world. I haven't had a whole lot of experience in reality. My body and mind aren't conditioned for the labor I'm forcing myself to do. Eventually my power will grow, but I mustn't be hasty. Everything will come in time. Impatience has lead to the downfall of many overlords. I must learn from the mistakes of my predecessors. I must accept myself for who I am, and hope that others are able to do the same. I don't believe I give my friends enough credit. I obviously have been failing to hide from them, and yet it doesn't phase them in the least. Considering the way things have been going, K-Con is certain to be an adventure.
What could possibly go wrong?
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