Sexy New Table!

Check out this table man.

This elegant and stylishly designed table, complete with elegant and stylish chestnut finish, was imported to our local small town Walmart from the majestic country of Vietnam. Those people know how to build a sexy table.

Now this table is mine.

That's right. You heard it here. The infamous Lord Veltha is now the proud owner of a fancy brand-spankin' new table! All I need now is a home to store it in, a car to travel to that home, an income to afford a home and car, and a beautiful woman to sit at my fresh new table. I tell you though man, the bettys will be lining up to sit at my table man.

Check out these dimensions: 36x36x36. It's practically a cube! What skill and craftsmanship those Vietnamese possess! And check out those benches. There will be no poor posture at Lord Veltha's table. No sir. And at an easy to manage 76 lbs this table is practically portable.

I'd like to take the time to thank the minions responsible for the assembly of my table. I'm sorry to say that I was not much assistance in the construction due to the injury I sustained from arm wrestling a robot earlier in the week. It was also past my bedtime, and Lord Veltha grows a little testy when it's past his bedtime. I had intended to put it together myself the next day, but my henchman took on the challenge without batting an eye.
(Thanks, Dad.)

Now I will be able to write for extended periods of time without having to endure troubling back pains. This table is totally my height. It's horrible hunching over and having my knees higher than my hips. Here is the table I was previously situated at.

Not so great for scribing epic manuscripts, but it did come bundled with a sandbox so it wasn't a total loss. When I take over the world they will make plastic sandboxes shaped like my logo. Like those big green turtle sandboxes... only AWESOME!