Here I am, again, sitting here in an attempt to relay a harrowing tale of my immense success and I've got nothing. This happens on occasion. It's usually a result of hunger, fatigue, or "I had a long day and I'd rather be playing video games or reading comic books." More often then not it's a combination of all three, and today is no exception. The only difference is that usually I post BS like this on LiveJournal where that sort of textureless monologing with no depth to speak of belongs (and I usually spell out bullshit.)
Last week my colorful associates and I met up at the legendary WSU Vancouver and recorded episode one of the soon to be legendary Astonishing Dude. I can't praise them enough. I'm trying though. I'm in the process of editing, and when I hear their lines I rush out of the room and onto FaceBook (I could call them, but then they'd have to get off the computer to answer the phone.) so that I may praise them. After the first two I decided I was making little progress as it was and kept working. I'll be sure to maul them later and suffocate them with praise.
Recording went smoothly. I seem to have given my actors all of the difficult to pronounce words and left all the easy ones to myself. (I'm curious to know how many directors have uttered the phrase, "Let's take it from molecular carbonation.") I was actually surprised at the lack of swearing when it came to line flubs. (I managed to take second place with only "damnit" and "son of a bitch." Actually, maybe I tied for first. The only other person who came close had three damnits. I'm not done editing yet, so maybe there're more lurking about. It could be anyone's game.)
The best part was that the super wonderful station manager, the cunning minx that she is, invited us to see the radio station. She did the exact same thing the last time I was there. First it's "Hey, do you wanna see the station?" and once we're there she slaps some headphones on us, throws us in front of the mics and runs away laughing gleefully over the horison. She's like a person selling kittens.
"Hey, would you like a kitten?"
"No thak you. I'm not interested."
"I bet you are."
"No, really, my mom's allergic. If she even sees one her windpipe swells shut and she can't breathe."
"Would you like to hold one?"
"Um... no..."
"I think one of them is trying to escape."
"What? I don't see..."
"Here, just hold this one while I go after the other."
"Uh... sure. Okay."
"There you go."
"OH MY GOD IT'S ADORABLE!"
"Hmm... seems as though I was mistaken. I could have sworn that..."
"I'LL TAKE TWO!"
"(Sucker)"
I think we may have a two hour time slot on Fridays from 2-4pm (Which can be heard at www.kougradio.com and I think maybe eventually some time soon some other site I don't remember or something. You should listen to it anyway. They play yodeling!) I haven't talked to anyone about it though... so I have no idea what we're doing. Then again, we didn't know what we were doing THEN, so what difference does it make? Maybe we'll read more horoscopes.
I've been keeping fairly busy, but I've made some time for myself. I've only spent 12 hours or so editing episode one, and I'm a bit over ten minutes into the show. Most of the time has been spent online foraging for sound effects. I'm sure once I get all the ones I need future episodes will go a lot quicker. I need to download all the sounds I can find (that work and are of reasonable quality) just to make damn sure I'll have what I need later (especially for the Rube Goldberg Home Kitchen Appliences commercial.)
There are three reasons I haven't spent more time working on this project. 1: I spent the weekend in Snoqualmie. 2: I'm handi-capable and have a rough time with mornings when I don't sleep at night due to the heat. 3: My laptop and external hard drive do not function properly at high temperatures (my laptop completely burnt out once, and today my external hard drive konked out and wouldn't turn back on until I slapped an icepack on it. It's such a diva...)
Now here I am trying to make sense of everything. I don't think I can, and I've given up trying. It seems to have worked out pretty well in my favor. I have four and a third scripts written, so we may only do five shows. This is a killer energy suck. Not that I'm complaining. I get to write and direct, hang out with my friends, and make something that will provide entertainment to dozens. This is exactly what I want. I've got a good thing going and I should follow it 'til the track runs out. Maybe it'll lead me to ways I can accomplish my other goals.
Showing posts with label expletives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expletives. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Accomplishment: Lord Veltha VS Karaoke
Crap
CRAP!
Holy mother of the all-knowing ever loving feces boutique of the cosmos!
My stomach hurts. I'm not sure if it's nerves or the pizza and chocolate chip cookie (Pizza... and A chocolate chip cookie. Not a pizza flavored dessert with chocolate chips, I'm sorry to say.) I've had pizza several times recently, but I usually don't ingest sugar because it gives me an adverse reaction. I'm not sure if this is from eating one cookie though. It seems like one of those "big picture" intestinal distresses.
I need to lie down.
I went to karaoke. Second time in a bar, second time drinking only water (I swear, but who knows what they put in it?) and first time getting up and singing in front of a small group of staggering, swearing, strangers. The first thing to come to my attention was the dim lighting. I suppose it's bad enough hearing people sing. Who would want to look at them? It must be a measure to prevent embarrassment. I would have thought the alcohol was enough, but perhaps they get sober smart-asses like me in there that are only present to take advantage of the wonderful mono sound system.
Once I started flipping through the song books I was pleasantly surprised to find songs I actually know. There's quite a selection in there. Everything from TV Themes (Brady Bunch, Spider-Man, Etc) to musicals (Rocky Horror, West Side Story, Etc.) The book that lists songs by title appears to be twice as thick as the volume that lists songs by artist, but why not? It's their bar. Who am I to judge? Maybe when I take over the world I'll have them update their song binders. I started filling out cards each time I came to a song I knew, more to keep track of things than to compile a set list, but I ended up singing three songs. I left before the fourth came up due to the aforementioned stomach issues. I have heard cliched descriptions regarding the knocking together of knees, but until last night it had never happened to me. I'm a fan of verticality when before people. Plus I am allergic to pain, and falling down would have made me break out in a big purple rash. Terribly embarrassing. In all, I really do think that perhaps it was nerves that unsettled me.
The first song I sang was Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash. Everyone else was singing country, and I hate to stand out in an unfamiliar environment... right away. From then on I was addressed by the nickname "Sue," and if anyone happens to recognize me I will likely continue to be. I'll probably be remembered since I'm possibly the first person under the age of menopause to take the stage in quite some time.
Second came Falling For the First Time by Barenaked Ladies, and as usual I sung it too high. I break out of key at the end of each verse. This is nothing to worry about as karaoke is traditionally sung out of key until the chorus, if that. That's the great thing about karaoke: there's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to singing; just being there in the first place.
Third was my personal favorite. I had planned to sing it at the Senior Showcase back in high school, and despite my inability to attend I learned it and learned it well. I dare say a woman was moved to tears by my powerful performance of One More Minute by Weird Al Yankovic. I had planned on leaving after that because my stomach was acting up, and while vomiting in a bar may be common it is not something I feel someone of my overlordly stature should indulge in. I was talked into doing one more, and signed up to do Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer (Seriously! It was right there! I almost cried when I saw it.) but was called away by nagging pain and the threat of violently retching. I did much better once I arrived back home. Powdery pink pills and hot baths help a lot.
Today was also garage sale day. I firmly believe my chalk drawing advertisements boosted sales. I should add that to my resume for when I apply for more jobs. I must obtain a job so that I my finance my Velthan Battle Cruiser, or whatever title I decide to give my vehicle in the spur of the moment.
For now... whatever.
Pathos and good will.
CRAP!
Holy mother of the all-knowing ever loving feces boutique of the cosmos!
My stomach hurts. I'm not sure if it's nerves or the pizza and chocolate chip cookie (Pizza... and A chocolate chip cookie. Not a pizza flavored dessert with chocolate chips, I'm sorry to say.) I've had pizza several times recently, but I usually don't ingest sugar because it gives me an adverse reaction. I'm not sure if this is from eating one cookie though. It seems like one of those "big picture" intestinal distresses.
I need to lie down.
I went to karaoke. Second time in a bar, second time drinking only water (I swear, but who knows what they put in it?) and first time getting up and singing in front of a small group of staggering, swearing, strangers. The first thing to come to my attention was the dim lighting. I suppose it's bad enough hearing people sing. Who would want to look at them? It must be a measure to prevent embarrassment. I would have thought the alcohol was enough, but perhaps they get sober smart-asses like me in there that are only present to take advantage of the wonderful mono sound system.
Once I started flipping through the song books I was pleasantly surprised to find songs I actually know. There's quite a selection in there. Everything from TV Themes (Brady Bunch, Spider-Man, Etc) to musicals (Rocky Horror, West Side Story, Etc.) The book that lists songs by title appears to be twice as thick as the volume that lists songs by artist, but why not? It's their bar. Who am I to judge? Maybe when I take over the world I'll have them update their song binders. I started filling out cards each time I came to a song I knew, more to keep track of things than to compile a set list, but I ended up singing three songs. I left before the fourth came up due to the aforementioned stomach issues. I have heard cliched descriptions regarding the knocking together of knees, but until last night it had never happened to me. I'm a fan of verticality when before people. Plus I am allergic to pain, and falling down would have made me break out in a big purple rash. Terribly embarrassing. In all, I really do think that perhaps it was nerves that unsettled me.
The first song I sang was Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash. Everyone else was singing country, and I hate to stand out in an unfamiliar environment... right away. From then on I was addressed by the nickname "Sue," and if anyone happens to recognize me I will likely continue to be. I'll probably be remembered since I'm possibly the first person under the age of menopause to take the stage in quite some time.
Second came Falling For the First Time by Barenaked Ladies, and as usual I sung it too high. I break out of key at the end of each verse. This is nothing to worry about as karaoke is traditionally sung out of key until the chorus, if that. That's the great thing about karaoke: there's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to singing; just being there in the first place.
Third was my personal favorite. I had planned to sing it at the Senior Showcase back in high school, and despite my inability to attend I learned it and learned it well. I dare say a woman was moved to tears by my powerful performance of One More Minute by Weird Al Yankovic. I had planned on leaving after that because my stomach was acting up, and while vomiting in a bar may be common it is not something I feel someone of my overlordly stature should indulge in. I was talked into doing one more, and signed up to do Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer (Seriously! It was right there! I almost cried when I saw it.) but was called away by nagging pain and the threat of violently retching. I did much better once I arrived back home. Powdery pink pills and hot baths help a lot.
Today was also garage sale day. I firmly believe my chalk drawing advertisements boosted sales. I should add that to my resume for when I apply for more jobs. I must obtain a job so that I my finance my Velthan Battle Cruiser, or whatever title I decide to give my vehicle in the spur of the moment.
For now... whatever.
Pathos and good will.
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