Lord Veltha is a typhoon of WIN

It's official. I am a tropical cyclone of amateur voice acting success. It's been almost a month since my last post, and in that time I have landed a slew of roles that will surely not become overwhelming in the least.
...
*cough*

Upon being cast in Naruto The Abridged Series Movie (and hookers!) my ego was inflated to beyond healthy proportions and I decided to investigate further roles. The fellow who kindly pointed me in the direction of the "Old Guy" audition mentioned that he was casting for Wild ARMS Abridged.

For those who don't know (namely my parents) an "Abridged Series" is a fan made series of videos often posted on YouTube where anime fans condense thirty minute episodes into eight or ten minutes, often lampshading confusing plot points, making fun of annoying characters, or completely changing a character's personality (or ethnicity, eh?) Often the resulting show becomes almost completely unrecognizable. There are many many bad ones, and even the more popular ones will make you want to lick a cheese grater to get your mind off of the pain, but they are altogether a somewhat humorous display of fandom.

For more information, consult the media entertainment equivalent of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: TV Tropes

After auditioning and receiving praise (and yea, even lending some requested script assistance) I got the role. I didn't know how many of the roles I got until now, but I'll get to that.

It was also from this source I learned of Voice Acting Alliance, which is a resource for amateur voice actors, directors, producers, etc who have all come together with a common goal: be awesome. It was here I decided to bite off more than I can chew, and why I continue to resemble a cow chewing cud.

For the record (and because my own memory is so terrible that I really need to write this crap down somewhere) here is the current list of projects I'm engaged in.

Wild ARMS Abridged (Abridged series based on Wild ARMS: Twilight Venom)
-Sheyanne Rainstorm (High normal voice. I didn't even audition for it! No kidding! I hate my voice...)
-Dr. Kiel Arronax (AKA "Doctor Captain Pirate Mullet". Brock Samson)

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Black Nerv Project (Not sure what the final name is, but it's a parody of Evangelion. From the looks of the script, I don't think they actually shortened it, so I don't think it's "Abridged." Amazing script though.)
-Fuyutsuki (The Old Guy strikes again! Get off my lawn!)
-Male Announcers 1, 2, and 3, helicopter pilots, crew mamber (I haven't gotten a critique yet on my auditions, so I'm not sure what I'm doing here. For these I mostly used variations on my annoying normal voice, and Stu Brawny Johnson. (Think Coach Z from homestarrunner.com))
-Sachiel The Angel (They said "Go nuts!" I went nuts, throwing in every voice I can do. I don't know what one they chose, and may not know until the show is finished because they only needed that one line.)

By the way, they're still looking for actresses.

Mega Man X: Vile (A fan-made RPG based on the Mega Man X series.)
I auditioned for four roles, and didn't get any of them because my voices didn't fit the characters. Luckily, I still got parts.
-Metal Shark Player (Auditioned for Dr. Wily. High-pitched pirate. Yeah, I'm awesome.)
- Mattrex (KROGNOLON! I have to make him sound sly and not stupid though. We'll see how that goes.)

I also get to re-audition for the role of Dynamo after having heard more information, and a clip from another audition. (I think I gotta go somewhere between Brock Samson and my normal voice. Have I mentioned I hate my normal voice? Just recordings though. I can and do talk to myself incessantly.)

That's not a whole lot, right? Sure my social life is suffering, but that's because I've been reclusive and depressed! Now I'll be isolated from the people I care about because of my heavy workload, the way it's SUPPOSED to be. Just in time for the holidays. (That's okay, people can pick up their Snowflake Day presents next month.)

I have a lot of links scattered around in this post. I don't know if they'll transfer over to Facebook or not. If not, then tough luck.

(Quick Rant: I downloaded a Dragonball Raging Blast demo last night. Now, why the HELL would they put out a demo of a FIGHTING GAME and not make it TWO PLAYER? It's RIDICULOUS!)

Pathos and good will,
Lord V.

What's Cooking

I've written a big long list of things I've done this year to further my reach and bring myself closer to copping a feel on reality. Most of the things on the list involve contacting friends... which sounds really bad after writing that bit about the copping of feels. I should be more careful in the future not to write anything that will negatively impact my overactive imagination. I could always delete this paragraph and start over.

...

There are two big things going on that involve patience and having to neurotically check my email every few minutes. I mean, I don't really have to neurotically check my email. I'm in control. I can quit any time I want. It's just that these are pretty big for me.

Last month I submitted two pieces to the Willamette Writers Kay Snow writing contest thingy. (Why isn't thingy in the automatic dictionary? Thingy is totally a word. Same with doohickey and... wait... they have doohickey but they don't have thingy? Add that to the list of things I gotta do when I conquer the world.) Third place will pay for both of my entry fees and a celebratory dinner. Second place would go towards donating comics to the library... lots of comics. First place... I'm sure I could think of something to do with first place. I submitted to two different categories, so if I managed to win both that would be amazing and likely improbable. There's no way I'd be that lucky with my first shot. Actually submitting was an accomplishment. People are reading my work. People who could go, "Wow! He's right! That is exactly what is happening! This social satire about how crappy vampires are is so compelling I must contact this writer immediately and tell him to hurry and publish this! Heck, I'll pay for it!"

This blog is about thinking highly of myself. Maybe if I believe in my dreams enough hey won't die. Then I could get married to the princess, buy a house on the moon, and get a pet moose, and live happily ever after. Hooray! And my floors will be made out of infinitely replenishing bubble wrap!

This blog is not about discussing why I do not like vampires. I have my reasons. I've thought it through. I cannot be swayed on the matter. Don't give me any of that "racist" or "politically incorrect" talk. I don't like vampires. You want to know why I don't like vampires then just ask me, and make sure you have plenty of time to listen to me rant. Better yet just buy my book when it comes out.

The other thing that I'm kinda sitting on is this call from the local college radio station. I found a newspaper and read an article that said a lot of great things about trying to unite artists trying to get noticed and promoting them on this radio station. I know: "What's that got to do with anything?" The thing that really caught my eye was where they briefly mentioned they were looking into starting a radio drama. Seriously, this would be the best job ever. Forget that it's volunteer work and I don't get paid. This is what I need. So I, get this, I took the newspaper home! This is... probably not that impressive, but understand where I'm coming from. I talk myself out of everything. I'm naturally inclined to avoid change. I won't go into detail here about how pathetic I am, but picking up the paper and taking it with me with the intention of investigating later was an astounding feat for me. Then I went and emailed them; basically whoring myself and saying I was willing to do anything they wanted of me. The next day, the very next day, I got an email back from the station manager saying he would connect me to the guy in charge of... discipline... and he would see me at the studio. I replied courteously, and have sense been sitting around waiting for their resident disciplinarian to contact me and tell me when my training starts. I haven't heard anything. My excitement is amplifying my impatience. I'd better check my email again and make sure he's supposed to contact me and not the other way around. I am an idiot like that.

Sooo... that's what I'll do now. I will feel like a huge idiot if it turns out I was supposed to contact him. Attention to detail is important when it comes to global domination. All it takes is one lax guard reading a magazine or eating a Sloppy-Joe to miss someone infiltrating the stronghold and then it's good bye evil ambitions. I'm all for equal opportunity employment, 'cause Odin knows I need it if I'm ever gonna get a job, but do not put people with ADD in charge of security.

I need to check my email.